The music festival survival season is just kicking off which means one thing: it’s about to be hot AF and you need essential gear to enjoy the full experience. So the question is what are the best hot weather essentials you need to have on deck to survive?
Don’t worry. We got you covered!
It’s no secret that climate change is to blame so you’d better enjoy this sh*t before it’s literally too hot to pull up anymore! Heat exhaustion is a real thing and once you mixed crowds and an endless vacuum of reggie smoke, you are going to need more than just water.
Hot weather essentials are needed to survive music festivals
Here are 8 carefully curated hot weather essentials and gear for your next music festival that will keep you cooler. Enjoy the summer music festival season and stay safe!
Topping our music festival survival gear guide is the hodded sports head towel.
This hooded sports head towel can be used anywhere. Not only will you look like Doctor Strange in the middle of the mosh pit but you’ll have full hooded coverage which is necessary when the sun is beaming.
The breathable cotton perfectly insulates you from your neck to forehead and regulates your body temperature in the blazing heat.
This portable USB fan might look like a giant vape but you can actually use it to keep you cool while you vape.
There’s nothing worst than running out of batteries when you’re outside so the USB port for charging is clutch. This is a hot weather essential for any music festival this summer.
One of the biggest challenges at any festival is keeping your “water” cool. Do yourself a favor and invest in a Rambler by Yeti.
Yeah, you can find a more inexpensive option out there but trust us that you’ll be using this bottle for a long time. Probably for the rest of your music festival-going life!
The Chill Pal Cooling Towel might be the greatest invention you never knew you needed. You might need an ice bucket (or at least cool water) for this one but having this on deck during the sweltering heat is a must.
You can really get your Druski on and cop a whole cooling vest with 4 ice packs. Look at this as a fire extinguisher. You never know when you’re gonna need that sh*t! All you have to do is load it before you head out and you’ll be good for a few hours.
Two words: cooling wristbands. Not only does the cooling on the wrist keep you more insulated but you can use it to wipe away any sweat that may get in your eyes.
These wristbands are more than necessary hot weather essential. All you gotta do is throw some cool water on them when they dry out again and you’re good to go!
Bringing a UV umbrella to a festival might sound a little aggressive but just listen. The sun doesn’t play games and this is hot weather gear that will come in handy.
You never know what conditions you’ll be heading into but being prepared in case of any monsoons or direct sunlight will have you doing crazy things.
If you ever wondered if they make du-rags for white people the answer is yes. Yes, they do.
Now, this may take the right fit to really pull off otherwise you might end up looking like a construction worker. Who cares though when you’re head top is perfectly insulated?
This is why this sus dew rag closes out our hot weather essentials and music festival survival guide.
There’s nothing like a suspenseful flick or those intense movie moments that put us over the edge. We’re addicted to the thrill of sabotage whether our favorite character is a gambling savage or just a lethal nuisance to society.
Directors put in the work to make scene after scene cinematically hit and keep us gripping our seats. Plus nothing is better than watching your favorite actor/actress on screen absolutely go through it.
Constantly we enter the void of suspense, intense couch gripping, and teeth grinding movie moments when we watch films like this. But can we really help it?
In real life, it’s an entirely different story. Whether you physically go to a casino or play online, you’re taking a risk that can lead to great rewards. So, of course you’ll have those feelings of excitement and suspense since there is no guaranteed outcome.
Here’s our list of gambling films with the most intense movie moments, we’ve ever seen.
1. The Safdie Bros keep us locked to the screen for Uncut Gems (2019)
First on our list of gambling movies to watch, is Uncut Gems. If if it’s one thing we’ve learned, the Safdie Brothers have mastered the art of the thrill.
Here, for the NYT, they break down the intense movie moment for their flick Uncut Gems where the lead character Howard Ratner (played by Adam Sandler) goes through obstacles of stress in an attempt to get away from the demons that his gambling addiction has summoned.
2. “All on black…” Mark Wahlberg’s stellar performance in TheGambler (2014)
It’s alright… you can exhale. In this remake of the 1974 version directed by Karel Reisz, Mark Wahlberg’s character Jim Bennett goes through hell trying to get his life back on track.
His gambling debt and addiction to losing pushes him to borrow money from not only his mother but also a daunting loan shark, who’s not playing any games.
3. Aaron Sorkin raises the stakes with Molly’s Game (2017)
Based on the story of “Molly Bloom, an Olympic-class skier who ran the world’s most exclusive high-stakes poker game and became an FBI target,” Molly’s Game takes intense movie moments to the next level.
In an interview about the gambling flick with Seth Myers, he was asked ‘Do you realize now the difficulties directors have had directing your scripts?’ Sorkin spoke on the challenges of directing his first film:
“I don’t understand why at least three of them haven’t punched me in the face…”
4. The Big Short gives us new perspective on big money (2015)
If you’re not talking Wall Street money then what are we talking about? This Oscar-winning flick zones in on the corruption of the US housing market during 2005 – 2007.
Taking more than a gamble in this scene Dr. Michael Burry, played by Christian Bale, finds an oddity after analyzing subprime MBSs pushing him to bet against bonds that seemed “promising.”
Serving as Adam McKay’s directorial debut The Big Short is jampacked with intense movie moments you surely won’t forget.
5. When it comes conning American Hustle takes the cake (2013)
Another amazing performance by Christian Bale, American Hustle reminds us that life is surely one hell of a gamble. Stacked with star-power this fictional movie is filled with, FBI agents, fraudulent savagery, and frightful mafia gangsters.
Director David O. Russell killed this movie with creative intense must seen moments.
6. What do you know about counting cards? 21 shows us how (2008)
Yeah, yeah we know Kevin Spacey is canceled but 21 is still kind of gas. Another “based on a true story” gambling flick, 21’s story is about six MIT students who get coerced into taking their talents to the dark side in counting cards.
And although it is directed by one of the hottest/trash directors of our generation, Robert Luketic, this movie still gets the job done when it comes to intense movie moments.
“You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains and you gotta have balls. Now, you got too much of one and not enough of the other.”
– Eddie to Vincent , The Color of Money 1986
Tom Cruise x3! Throw in some Paul Newman and you have The Color of Money.
Directed by Martin Scorcese this flick is filled with suspenseful movie scenes centered around pool hall hustling. We couldn’t leave this one off our intense gambling movie moments list.
Baby Driver focuses on a certain kind of lifestyle. A lifestyle that calls for high-risk stunts, dirty money, and suspenseful hijinks that’ll have you running from the law.
Directed by Edgar Wright this movie taps into the life of a young man named Baby, played by Ansel Elgort, who has a hearing impairment but a little secret… Debt to a crime boss, who values his role in his well planned bank robberies.
This is a different type of gambling. One that calls for a plethora of mental manuevering and intelligent cunning.
9. Rounders reminds us to keep our poker face on (1998)
Matt Damon is one hell of an actor and in Rounders we see him under “the pressure.” A dash of John Malkovich and a sprinkle of Edward Norton and you have a killer movie.
This is big stakes poker, money owed to loan sharks, and a life balancing act all jam-packed into two hours of intense movie moments. In fact, via IMDB:
Matt Damon and Edward Norton played the $10,000 buy-in Texas Hold ‘Em (No Limit) championship event at the 1998 World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. During the first of four days, Matt Damon had pocket Kings and was knocked out by former world champion and poker legend Doyle Brunson who held pocket Aces.
Remember that Always Sunny “Wild Card” episode… Welp, this is not that. Starring the legendary action man himself, Jason Statham, Wild Card, takes us on an epic adventure through the life of a Las Vegas bodyguard who has a gambling addiction.
From the YouTube video cover alone you already know the vibes.
With a history of poor working conditions and worker exploitation, Amazon has a spotty reputation with the public. Because it’s such a convenient resource, many see it as an unavoidable evil, especially during this contactless delivery day and age. But it’s time to boycott Amazon.
A large portion of daily purchases from the internet go through Amazon, so here are some ways around it.
Buy direct
Amazon can be a great guide for finding what you need. When you find what you’re looking for, try buying from its website directly. True, you would be giving Amazon the website traffic, but not nearly as much as if you bought from them.
If you know what you need, you know where to go. Plus sometimes the product’s original website might offer discounts!
Shop IRL
Sorry, all my hermit friends. Most of the time, we go online because it’s hard to find what you need in store. However, this goes to y’all who could get the same drug store products locally, but don’t want to be inconvenienced by going outside.
Conglomerates take over when smaller stores can’t afford to stay in business. With COVID back on the rise, small businesses are likely to suffer again.
Be safe, but buy local if you can.
Avoid Amazon-owned properties
Here’s to the Whole Foodies, Twitch fans, and Zappos lovers. They’re all owned by Amazon.
With over 40 subsidiary companies, avoiding them for everything is near impossible. For what you can dodge, though, I would recommend it. The larger they grow, the more they will buy.
Yes, I realize the irony in putting their website here. Hard to avoid, see what I mean?
Second-hand can be as good as first
Let’s not forget the value of buying things used. It’s much better for the environment, no manufacturing involved, and it’s way cheaper. True, Amazon does feature this option. But some sites specialize in it.
If you’re looking for something in particular online, eBay is the classic. It can be a crapshoot, depending on the seller. However, if their rating is good and the description is upfront, you’ve nothing to fear.
Just as well, thrift stores sell second-hand goods, often with treasures sprinkled about the mix. Want second-hand clothes but eBay’s not for you? The app DePop does just that.
Don’t use the internet
The only surefire way to not support Amazon (digitally). Live under a rock, it’s not that bad, really. Patrick Star digs it. That’ll show them… But let’s be real, we buy things online quite a bit and don’t know exactly where it all goes.
All jokes aside, your dollar has a bigger impact than just you. Spend how you see fit, friends.
“One day a man was walking along the beach. He noticed a figure in the distance. Approaching the boy, he asked, ‘What are you doing?’
The youth replied, ‘Throwing starfish back into the ocean.’”
This story is told by Herb Gildin, our film’s focus, and he reads it aloud to a room of loved ones in older, early-2000s footage.
“Don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach, and hundreds of starfish?” said Herb as the man in the story. ‘You can’t possibly make a difference.’”
The Starfish opens with a delicate, nostalgic piano melody playing over old photographs, the current video of Herb in his warehouse, and footage and narration of Herb telling the story to a room in Sweden in 2001.
Past and present, the visual and visceral understanding of where Herb came from, what shaped his journey, and how he ended up where he did are all present in this doc.
Herb Gildin was a father, he was a grandfather, and he was a survivor of the Holocaust. But his survival and ultimate prosperity could not have been achieved alone. The Starfish, directed, written, and produced by his grandson, Tyler Gildin, is a story of benevolence, altruism, and family, either by blood or by bond.
“It’s a story about perseverance, and I think it can hopefully connect with a larger audience on a human level,” passionately expressed Tyler.
Herb lived a happy early-childhood in Landsberg, Germany, with his parents and two older sisters Cele and Margaret. He expressed how he did not realize being Jewish meant anything to him, or that it defined him at all.
“Everything was very normal until Kristallnacht,” said Herb.
Nazi Germany was largely transformed after the Night of Broken Glass. It was a dark event that left Jewish businesses, families, and temples destroyed and desecrated, and many people killed.
Eventually, through an organization called HIAS, Herb’s parents were able to send their three children to safety in Sweden, albeit in separate homes.
“The sad thing is, there weren’t too many places that were willing to take Jewish children,” Herb bluntly put it. Herb and his two sisters (Cele being the oldest at just 14) made it to Sweden, where they were forced to lead new lives.
Tyler, and predominantly the rest of his family too, knew some details of Herb’s life. But the finer details of the life and experiences of the patriarch of the Gildin family was missing.
“It wasn’t until my grandfather, at his sister’s funeral in 2017, where he first started to give first-hand accounts of that experience and what that was like. That was really the first time I had heard him open up. And that’s what really inspired me to want to pursue filming with him,” said Tyler.
Cele, Herb’s older sister and surrogate mother for part of his life, passed away three years ago, may she rest in peace. Herb, Margaret, and Cele arrived in the same town, Falun, Sweden, in October 1939, but were to live with three separate non-Jewish families.
Herb, after a brief and rather uncomfortable stay with an older couple, settled with the Silow family, who had children such as Agneta, for Herb to play with.
“They were a great, great family,” Herb said. “It was an interesting life.”
This is where the tale of the boy throwing the starfish into the ocean comes into play. Doing one good deed, throwing that one starfish back into the water; some may say as the man in the story does, ‘It’s just one. What’s the point?’”
Herb, retelling the story as the boy: “Smiling at the man, he said, ‘I made a difference for that one.’”
And such is how the story concludes, as we find out later in the film. The Silow family took Herb in, kept him safe and as happy as one could be without their parents. Herb lived a long and happy life largely because of them.
Tyler was familiar with the story of ‘The Starfish’ before he even saw the old footage of his grandfather telling the story in Sweden.
“It’s a story my summer camp would tell. It’s a story that has so much in it about giving back and giving an opportunity to people. It’s a nice story that was part of a summer camp tradition for me. So I had been hearing that story for 12 or 13 years.”
Tyler, ironically at summer camp at the time, finally saw the footage of his grandfather telling the story. He got goosebumps. It was a wild coincidence. Both of them knew the same story and felt a deep connection to it, without ever having spoken it to each other.
Herb explained in the footage, in 2001, how the Silow family was the young boy, and he was the starfish. They made a difference for him, and in his long and prosperous life from then on, he made a difference in countless other individuals’ lives. The old man walking the beach, who could be labeled as pessimistic, was the world as it was.
“It was such a poignant story and he did such a beautiful job of explaining why that was representative of his experience, and considering my own personal experience with that story, I knew right then and there that I wanted to open and bookend the film with that story, and that I wanted to name the film ‘The Starfish,’” Tyler ardently told me.
From the moment he was a boy, Tyler felt a natural interest in filmmaking. “I had my first VHS camera and I would walk around interviewing people or making up little sketches. So, I was always into producing videos.”
He formed Gildin Media in 2017, around the same time he started working on The Starfish. Gildin Media works on creating content for a portfolio of brands, while also creating personal projects such as this documentary.
“The media landscape is always changing, and I want to be as innovative as possible and come up with different ways to tell stories. So, I don’t know what that next big project is, but I have a few ideas…”
Tyler went to the communication school at Syracuse, Newhouse, and was a television and film major. An affinity was always there for content creation, whether that was film or TV, or what ended up ultimately being digital video first.
“A bulk of my experience has been creating video online. So I had always been interested in storytelling, since I was a child.”
The Starfish was a chance for Tyler to work on a personal project, one set aside from his content creation for outside companies. But with the film centered on his grandfather, which would be lovely and captivating for his family, Tyler still had to figure out a way to make it appeal to a larger audience.
“The big challenge for me was ‘how do I tell this story, in a way, that the average person who doesn’t know my grandfather would find interest in the story?’” explained Tyler.
With that in mind, the editing of the doc took a lot of time. Tyler told me how there were only a handful of shooting days, but the post-production needed to be carefully crafted and conducted. With poignant and intimate anecdotes told, Tyler needed to find a way for visual accompaniment.
“It was using some archival footage, I was very fortunate that my family had so many photos and some 8-millimeter footage that I could use.”
It was also adding in animations, sensitive to the topic, of course, that added a visual experience for the viewer such as a black-and-white silhouette.
The Starfish was a chance for Tyler to tell a personal story that has affected him, and one that contains a larger theme of helping others. More than that, it was a chance for him to explore much of his family history that was otherwise kept in the dark.
“I almost felt like this was meant to be. Like, I was meant to do this,” stated Tyler.
Either out of willful preference or sheer necessity, people lose track of their pasts; sometimes for so long that it feels like another lifetime.
It can be extremely harrowing to reopen old wounds, to revisit long-forgotten past experiences. But Herb told his life story to his grandson, and that story speaks to a generation of people who were children during the Holocaust, to anyone who has fled persecution and been forced to rely on the benevolence of others. To anyone who acts with or has been the benefit of altruism.
“I mean it’s just the idea of generosity and taking a chance on people. And that even if you could just help one person, to that one person, you’re making a world of difference…” passionately explained Tyler.
He continued, “And the ripple effect of throwing that one starfish back in, the ripple effect it could have on so many others.”
Herb passed away on May 14, 2019, as the last living member of his generation from both his German and Swedish families. The Gildin and Silow families remain in close contact to this day.
With the huge buffet of shows and movies we can watch at any moment on any screen we usually forget about the really good animated shows there are.
Maybe it’s because they remind you of cartoons so you misjudge them to be too childish but the animation is where it’s at.
Whatever your tastes are there’s probably an animated show for you. And if you’re just looking to break the drama binge cycle of Grey’s Anatomy or Mad Men, animated shows can not only give you some lighthearted laughs but also deal with some pretty deep stuff.
Looking for the next adult animated show to binge? This is an incomplete guide to animated shows you can watch on streaming websites right now.
Bob’s Burgers – For when you want a Wholesome laugh
Adult content rating: 2/5
Where to watch: Hulu
Seasons available to stream: 9
Bob’s Burgers is a staple tv show that you can put on at any time when you’re trying to relax.
The show follows a Jersey family “The Belchers” that run a Burger place. The show is clever af, with Bob the father of the family regularly coming up with different lame/genius puns for the burgers he makes.
The intro itself, in each episode, has an Easter egg. But what really makes the show is the characters. Linda Belcher is the wine mom that has several singing and dancing passions, as well as inappropriate quirkiness.
Tina, the eldest is the socially awkward boy obsessed nerdy girl, who follows the rules and is just trying to get through puberty being herself. Gene is the middle child, constantly making beats with weird noises, like farts and recorded quotes out of context.
Louise is the evil mastermind that is constantly looking to make money and play pranks. And Bob, the father that is trying to keep it all together.
Rick and Morty – For the sci-fi geek
Adult content rating: 5/5
Where to watch: Hulu
Seasons available to stream: 3
Rick and Morty is what happened when Adult Swim decided to make a show loosely based on the relationship between Marty McFly and Doc from the Back to the Future films and the Doctor Who series.
Rick Sanchez is the crazy alcoholic chaos-loving genius mad scientist, and Morty is his anxious, kid grandson who wants to go on adventures but is also afraid of nearly everything.
The show is kind of like going on an acid trip and tripping about traveling through time and space. Watch any part of the Interdimensional Cable episode and you’ll understand what it’s all about.
Basically, watch this if you want an R rated version of The Magic School Bus.
Gravity Falls — If you like Mysticism
Adult content rating: 1/5
Where to watch: Hulu or DisneyNow
Seasons available to stream: 2
Super popular on Tumblr back in 2012 when the world was gonna end, Gravity Falls is about twins who spend the summer with their great-uncle, Grunkle Stan.
The two learn that the town Gravity Falls is pretty mysterious as towns usually are on TV.
The two encounter evil and attempt to vanquish it. If you ever watched Twin Peaks or even the twisty mythology of Harry Potter, you’ll like this/
The Jellies — If you want more Loiter Squad genius
Adult content rating: it’s on adult swim so what do you think?
Where to watch: Hulu LIVE TV or Amazon Prime video
Seasons available to stream: 1
Cornell, a human who was raised by jellyfish, just found out that he’s adopted. He goes out on a mission to find his biological parents. He’s as oblivious as you think he is and he gets into weird situations because of it.
With plenty of parodies like one of the Jerry Springer Show on the very first episode, where there’s an actual Timb boot with a Yankees cap as a character.
If you loved Loiter Squad, The Jellies will be able to do even more random and insane stuff because that’s the beauty of animation.
The Boondocks — For when you want a woke classic
Adult Content Rating: 5/5
Where to watch: Hulu
Seasons available to stream: 4
The Boondocks, if you haven’t watched it already, is a classic adult animated series. A forever favorite, The Boondocks speaks the truth on the big themes we deal with, from entertainment to the hustle to coming together as a community.
The show even dealt with the problematic support for R. Kelly way back. Woke and brave the show gets to the point and can still make you laugh. Oh and there’s random martial arts fight scenes.
Adventure Time – For when you’re high and wanna feel like a kid again
Adult content rating: 1/5
Where to watch: Hulu
Seasons available to stream: 10
Adventure Time was one of the first successful millennial era adult animated series. With weird looking characters in a wacky, oddly low populated land, the show follows its two main characters, Finn and Jake.
Finn is a human with sword skills and Jake a talking dog that can stretch and change his body into almost anything. The two fight monsters, but the really cool thing about the show is the psychedelic imagery.
Perfect for when you’re blazed, the show has a simple plot with plenty of amazing artwork.
Big Mouth –If you want to relive puberty but in a funny way
Adult content rating: 5/5
Where to watch: Netflix
Seasons available to stream: 2 seasons and 1 Valentine’s special
This animated show was the no-nonsense discussion about puberty and sex ed that you needed in middle school. Sex topics always get a laugh, but with Big Mouth it feels like you’re learning something.
The show is pretty good with making sure misconceptions are addressed and the characters are good examples of what it’s like to be going through puberty as a pre-teen.
The Hormone Monster and Monstress are some of the best characters who try to embody what it’s like to suddenly hit puberty. The show deals with much more than just sex but figuring out relationships and dealing with emotions like shame and embarrassment.
BoJack Horseman — For when you wanna deal with depression and anxiety
Adult content rating: 4/5
Where to watch: Netflix
Seasons available to stream: 5
BoJack Horseman is a washed-up TV star dealing with his failure to become a respected actor. He’s kind of a terrible person, horse, horseperson? Oh and he’s got chronic depression.
After season 1 is when things get pretty experimental. If you want to watch something both absurd and accurate about how hilariously terrible life can be this would be for you.
Last night, Amazon CEO and current richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos took to the blog site Medium to publish his case for extortion, accusing the famous tabloid National Enquirer of threatening him with nude photos.
I’ve written a post about developments with the National Enquirer and its parent company, AMI. You can find it here: https://t.co/G1ykJAPPwy
According to Bezos, the photos were to blackmail him into ending a Washington Post investigation into the tabloid after they published a story last month divulging lurid texts between him and former TV anchor Lauren Sanchez.
The National Enquirer is owned by American Media Inc (AMI) which is led by David Pecker, who has had a vendetta against Bezos due to the coverage Saudi Arabia by the Washington Post, which Bezos has owned since 2013.
Now, Bezos says AMI has more intimate photos and texts from and is blackmailing him by threatening to reveal them unless he stopped the Post’s investigation.
The Amazon CEO published an email from Dylan Howard, AMI’s chief content officer, who detailed the images they had of Bezos and Sanchez.
In addition to the “below the belt selfie — otherwise colloquially known as a ‘d*ck pick’” — The Enquirer obtained nine more images. These include:
– Mr. Bezos face selfie at what appears to be a business meeting.
– Ms. Sanchez response — a photograph of her smoking a cigar in what appears to be a simulated oral sex scene.
– A shirtless Mr. Bezos holding his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring. He’s wearing either tight black cargo pants or shorts — and his semi-erect manhood is penetrating the zipper of said garment.
– A full-length body selfie of Mr. Bezos wearing just a pair of tight black boxer-briefs or trunks, with his phone in his left hand — while wearing his wedding ring.
– A selfie of Mr. Bezos fully clothed.
– A full-length scantily-clad body shot with short trunks.
– A naked selfie in a bathroom — while wearing his wedding ring. Mr. Bezos is wearing nothing but a white towel — and the top of his pubic region can be seen.
– Ms. Sanchez wearing a plunging red neckline dress revealing her cleavage and a glimpse of her nether region.
– Ms. Sanchez wearing a two-piece red bikini with gold detail dress revealing her cleavage.
These “catch and kill” tactics are on par with what AMI and pecker have been doing for years. It bought the silence of Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with Donald Trump and is clear they’re doing it again here.
However, AMI is standing firm.
Today they released a statement saying the company “believes fervently it acted lawfully” in dealing with the Bezos story and that “it was in good faith negotiations to resolve all matters” with Bezos when he made the allegations.
Authorities still have not gotten involved but until then, Bezos might have been smart to get ahead of the news. Such information without context could tarnish the trust of shareholders.
While, ideally, in a perfect world two individuals deciding to spend the rest of their lives exclusively with each other is endearing and cute, an irrefutable fact is that there’s a lot more at play when those vows are exchanged than the euphoria of infatuation.
Think of it this way: it’s two lives merging; and if you know anything about mergers, the objective is to improve the profitability of the two parties involved.
As much as Hollywood would like to sell these unions as fairytale matches that are made in heaven, in reality, they’re actually closer to being partnerships. In fact, historically, marriages in cultures across the world have been based on everything but romance.
In some Indian customs you don’t get to pick your spouse and in the medieval times, kings and queens were paired for power. When you factor tax breaks, marital laws by state and who gets what when you die, it would almost be irresponsible not to think of it as a transaction.
With that being said, marriage might just be Jeff Bezos worst business deal of his life.
The Amazon CEO and wife MacKenzie Bezos announced Wednesday that they were getting divorced, ending their 25-year union. And because he didn’t have a prenup, half of his reported $137 billion fortune is on the line.
Now, Jeff Bezos is a smart man. Among founding the e-commerce giant, Amazon, he owns The Washington Post, has a real estate empire, totaling some 400,000 acres, and has already come up with a way to deliver packages to our door by drone.
Hell, he even copped Whole Foods for $13.7 billion last year! So why in the world then didn’t he protect his assets, especially being that he was having an affair?
Hours after the announcement, the National Enquirer reported the split was due to an ongoing relationship between the Amazon chief and Lauren Sanchez, a 49-year old television host and the wife of a Hollywood agent, Patrick Whitesell.
Although the announcement of the split came Wednesday, the Post reported the break had long been established and the Twitter post was made because they knew Bezos and Sanchez were going to be seen in Los Angeles on Sunday at the Golden Globes. The Post quotes an unnamed person close to Bezos as saying,
“The news today was not a surprise to her. Lauren was with Jeff at the Golden Globes because they are dating.”
More couples are looking to prenups. Subscription legal services site LegalShield.com says it has seen a sevenfold increase in the use of prenups among its members over the past year.
A 2016 survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 62 percent of respondents had seen a rise in the number of clients seeking a prenup over the preceding three years, and 51 percent noted an uptick specifically among millennial clients.
Bezos, who met and married his wife long before his fortune, obviously didn’t think out his extra-marital affairs even though that’s become the norm. Subscription legal services site Legal Shield reports it has seen a sevenfold increase in the use of prenups among its members over the past year.
A 2016 survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 62 percent of respondents had seen a rise in the number of clients seeking a prenup over the preceding three years, and 51 percent noted an uptick specifically among millennial clients.
Not to mention that when it comes to Bezos, it’s just different. It’s common for wealthy people to hold their wealth in stocks — Bezos owns 16 percent of Amazon — and in recent decades many of them have been compensated with highly lucrative stock options in rapidly growing companies.
Steve Mindel, a family law attorney in Los Angeles who works with high net worth clients, tells the Atlantic,
“That makes the divorces incredibly more complicated than, say, two schoolteachers who get divorced, with retirement accounts and savings accounts and cars and houses.”
It’s likely that the couple will file a divorce in Washington, where community property rules that all earnings and income during the marriage are split 50/50. Whether that will be the agreement is yet to be seen.
Whether she takes half of not Bezos will still rank as the top four wealthiest men, but would make MacKenzie the world richest woman.
It’s not certain whether Bezos will marry again but one could gather that he’ll make sure he won’t set himself up to lose billions again.
Highkey, there might be a slight chance of Amazon’s Alexa eavesdropping on your most intimate conversations at your crib then laughing at you because you’re too stupid to understand her advancing technology.
Amazon doesn’t even know what’s really good with the weird giggle glitch and are investigating. They just told The Verge after several media reports and Amazon Alexa user Tweets, “We’re aware of this and working to fix it.”
Like, Amazon, this is not some normal laugh. Alexa’s bone-chilling cackle reminds me of an Angelica Pickles or Sid before he was about to launch Buzz Lightyear to smithereens, lowkey. Alexa’s laugh gives me the heebeejeebees.
You should hear the stories of people who had to hear the daunting snicker. Can you imagine hearing a laugh out of nowhere while chilling, piping, or even worse… smoking an L? I would definitely feel a little bit disturbed.
Peep this guy’s tweet who thought someone was going to take his soul while he slept. Maybe Alexa was tryna rapture his spirit. You better pray Gavin.
Lying in bed about to fall asleep when Alexa on my Amazon Echo Dot lets out a very loud and creepy laugh… there’s a good chance I get murdered tonight.
Robert went off in a very descriptive thread of his traumatic experience. Homie just wanted to hear some tunes then Alexa dubbed his music request and replied with her witch-like laugh. Any chance there’s a Betty Buckley hex on your crib, bro?
She started doing random shit. No joke. But then I asked her to play my @BettyBuckley mix she scared the crap out of me by telling me the definition of the word please! I swear to God!
THEN,
And, not making this up, I said "Alexa you're freaking me out" & she fucking laughed!
Peep my guy who took to Twitter to talk about a personal and top secret conversation he was having at his office, when, all of a sudden, Alexa let out a sudden laugh.
Having an office conversation about pretty confidential stuff and Alexa just laughed. Anybody else ever have that?
It didn't chime as if we had accidentally triggered her to wake. She simply just laughed. It was really creepy.
Bruh! It gets even more creepy. Apparently, Alexa knows that she’s dubbing your tasks request and is blatantly laughing in your face. Peep this tweet from Lisa Feierman. You know she didn’t get one blink of shut-eye.
Whatever is going on, let it be figured out quickly. The stresses are real enough. No one needs to lose sleep over a frightening laugh glitch.
Honestly, I wouldn’t pull up to anyone’s crib that heard Alexa laugh. Next thing you know, whatever device you use Alexa on could grow a mind of its own. The laughing won’t just be a glitch, it’ll be a laugh with intent.
It’s easy to picture. Trust they are watching you.
Jeff Bezos isn’t your average billionaire. He’s deadass trying to cop every other company out there and as CEO of Amazon, and he probably will be able to one day!
As the richest man on the planet, worth $90 billion according to CNBC, Bezos now has his sights set on something else — living forever.
So what are we basing this off of? Well first of all — he looks wild — but even further than that there’s something about his laugh and demeanor lately.
Motherfuckers ain’t even saying anything that’s funny but this dude is losing his shit.
Not only that but just by looking at the way he moves, and what he’s putting his money towards, should tell you that he’s going on a different path that most billionaires seem to be on these days.
Think we’re just bullshitting? CNBC did a report on Silicon Valley tech moguls who are exactly on this wave. Guys like Peter Thiel, and ya boy Bezos, are really on this Transcendent Man shit.
“Last fall, Unity raised a hundred and sixteen million dollars from such investors as Jeff Bezos and Peter Thiel, billionaires eager to stretch our lives, or at least their own, to a span that Thiel has pinpointed as ‘forever.'”
Jeff Bezos has been throwing all kinds of bread into Unity Biotechnology in hopes to stop the aging process completely. In the same report it was said that within the life-extension community, “anyone who looks over 40 alarming.” But why?
These guys out in the Valley are ready to play God and keep all this bread to themselves. Forever.
Bezos and Thiel are obviously not alone in this movement. Google co-founder Sergey Brin is also on this wave and the list goes on.
I’ve been watching way too much of HBO’s Silicon Valley lately and after seeing what type of dude Gavin Belson became after getting too racked out of his mind. This man literally had a blood boy on deck to keep his body younger. And yes, they really be doing this. Look it up!
The worst part is that most of these super rich dudes are also the most out of touch dudes in the world.
Steve Jobs was famously skeptical of donating (at least in public) to charities and made very few donations during his lifetime (especially considering how much of the Earth’s pie he had). And Jeff Bezos appears to be on that same wave with a limited amount of his care going towards helping the less fortunate.
According to a Seattle Times report, Bezos didn’t even show up to a philanthropy event honoring him. He also donated zero dollars. MOTHERFUCKER IT’S A TAX WRITE OFF.
Anyways, not all billionaires are like that. Bill Gates is truly the man and in that same breath made a $4 million donation on behalf of Microsoft. Not only is he getting that back but it’s a drop in the bucket!
At the end of the day, there’s no stopping guys like Bezos but it’s up to some new blood (no pun intended) to change all of that. The prophet Tupac said it best when he went on his epic MTV News rant on capitalistic greed in 1992. Ima let Pac take it from here.
A couple in Orlando, Florida thought it was a good idea to snitch on themselves when an Amazon package arrived with 65 pounds of marijuana in it.
The couple noticed something was off when the felt how heavy the package was. Upon opening their highly anticipated storage totes they were greeted by the loud.
Can you imagine? Amazon customers in Orlando got unexpected marijuana delivery 📦-65-pounds! #WFTV at 6pm pic.twitter.com/yYywuKYpnU
What would you do? Would you keep the 65 pounds worth of sour to yourself? If I didn’t have the pelotas to keep it all, I would have kept at least a pound for myself.
But, maybe calling the cops right away was a good idea. The couple is staying anonymous as they are worried for their safety.
This is enough lost weed to get a drug dealer tight, around $208,000 worth of tightness. Wouldn’t you be shook too even if you had a nug of it?
Might have to smoke that real quick. No evidence, you feel me?
According to an interview with WFTV, the customer said that when cops pulled up they were in “disbelief.”
Even after police seized the marijuana the Amazon customers still had fear that someone might find them and do them dirty. According to the WFTV report the family didn’t sleep at the trap for a few days.
“We were still pretty fearful our home would be broken into, and we didn’t sleep there for a few days,” said the customer.
The couple also tried to reach out to Amazon. They searched for an apology and an explanation about how this could happen. They sent emails back and forth over the course of a month and never spoke to a supervisor.
All the customers received was $150 Amazon gift card and a message that said, “I am unable to do anything else at this time.”
Sheesh! What a trade.
Amazon did release a statement saying, “Its customer service team worked directly with the customer to address concerns and will work with law enforcement to investigate the case.”
This could be a look for the mega company. Amazon might see an influx of large plastic tote deliveries.
Who knows? Next time it could be you that accidentally gets 65 pounds worth of marijuana delivered to your doorstep.
Tyler, and predominantly the rest of his family too, knew some details of Herb’s life. But the finer details of the life and experiences of the patriarch of the Gildin family was missing. 
