Getting old is one of the hardest things to accept and to be honest, it’s trash.
Yeah sure, age ain’t nothing but a number and youth is in the mind but when your body literally starts to break down on you and stop working the way it used to, it could be one of the most trash feelings in the world.
I’m 25 and I already feel like shit daily. I’m always just mad tired, sick because I’m not just chillin’ on a yacht and things that used to not bother me are starting to get me tight.
Realistically, I’m Gucci at the same time, but there’s no denying what this is. Just like me, you too may be a washed millennial.
Think back to like five years ago. How carefree were you? How good did you feel? When you fell down you would just pop right back up. Get up and try it again!
Falling down today is more like tumbling down the stairs. You gonna get up eventually but you might need a minute. And when you do get up ya knee is feelin’ brazy.
It’s like what most retired athletes say at the end of their careers: father time is undefeated. Only difference is you definitely ain’t no pro athlete but you might be washed too, b.
Here’s some clear signs that it’s a wrap for you.
You deadass not tryna go out like ever.
Going out in your early 20s compared to the the later years is one of the biggest differences because you’re not really tryna do it anymore.
Especially if you were going hard at one point, you more than likely would rather just post up at the crib, smoke something, order some seamless and stream some shit. Seeing people you don’t really fuck with and gotta pretend you care about is trash too.
One of the hardest parts about going out when you washed is coming up with new excuses to your friends of why you can’t go.
You can’t handle eating ratchet meals anymore.
Remember what it was like to eat with no repercussions? I’m talking about fuckin’ up a bacon cheeseburger and a shake at 3am and being able to hit the gym a few hours later.
I’m talking about not caring about what the fuck a calorie was. As you get older, and more washed, you can literally feel every fry you’ve eaten. You can actually feel your heart to slow down and the complications kick in.
You’ve lost that untouchable feeling of youth and feel more like a flaming sack of shit.
You might need to see a doctor after one game of pick up basketball.
If there’s one thing that truly makes you realized you’re washed, it’s playing ball with kids younger than you.
Sure, you can lock up and get those buckets still (fuck outta here), but it’s the after effects that truly make you realize you can’t do this shit like you used to.
Muscles you didn’t know existed start to cramp up, your shoulders start to get strained and your ankle is cooked son. This is a young man’s game. Stick to 2K.
You the one with the Netflix password that everyone’s stealing.
Being that source of how your cousins, their homies and their extended families are watching Netflix is a clear sign you washed.
That means you’re kinda responsible but let’s be real here, no one should be paying for Netflix. You the one getting played here dog.
Hearing mumble rappers like Lil Uzi angers you.
Look, 90s rap was 90s rap. And the 2000s was the 2000s. If you can’t at least tolerate the shit these youngins are putting out today, then at least try to keep that shit to yourself.
No one’s tryna hear how Bone Thugs N’ Harmony was better than Migos (low key though) or how no one’s still fucking with Tupac and Biggie (true). You just sound like one of those old timers talking about you need five elements of hip-hop shit and still bumping KRS-One like it just came out.
They all had their time at one time. It’s now the era of, “YAH, YAH, WHAT!”
You get a little too hyped when an old Nelly song comes on.
Going off of your music taste, if the first second a Nelly track still makes you go wild, then you looking real wild yourself.
The good thing about our classics compared to shit our parents were bumpin’ is that this shit is still undeniably hot but tin today’s age, that’s the same thing as bumping some boom bap shit. It’s just not what’s poppin’ anymore.
The video for “Tip Drill” will forever be legendary though.
You truly can’t deal with being hungover anymore.
The most obvious reason you’re washed. Drinking liquor is now the devil.
When your hangover start lasting for multiple days, you know it’s gotta be a wrap for your immune system and probably your heart.
You still do it but every time you try to turn up, you wake up feeling absolutely terrible. I’m talking about yacking it with the bumpin’ ass headache and literally losing an entire day or two of your life.
You then have to deal with this every time you decide to drink from here on out.
You’re actually using your college degree.
Well, it looks like the life you set out to achieve when you graduated 12th grade actually worked out. Congratulations, you’re officially washed!
It’s not a bad thing but just realize this, there is nothing remotely exciting about you.
You played the game by the book and listened to what everyone’s ever told you. You did exactly what they expected and didn’t exceed any expectations. You’re right on the line!
You might as well start poppin’ kids out, move to the suburbs and drive a Dodge Caravan. You most definitely washed b.
