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Brian Cushing, PED

World-renowned meathead Brian Cushing tests positive for PEDs, shocks no one

Houston Texans middle linebacker Brian Cushing has tested positive for performance enhancing substances for the second time in his career and will be suspended 10 games.

This is not exactly shocking news to anyone that’s paid attention to Brian Cushing’s career since he was at USC. The kid from Jersey went from pudgy frosh to body builder levels of yolked rather quickly.

Despite rumors of his PED use in college and high school, the Texans took Cushing with the 15th overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft. Cushing won the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award… and then tested positive for abnormal levels of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), a hormone used during steroid cycles to maintain normal testosterone levels.

Hilariously when the NFL held a revote over the DROTY award after Cushing’s positive test, he won it again.

This kind of shows the general attitude towards steroid use in the NFL. Unlike sports like baseball or track & field, where steroid users are looked at as insulting the integrity of THE GAME, in the NFL performance enhancing drug use kind of just seems like an inevitability.

And even more inevitable with a dude like Cushing. Rumors of PED use have followed him since high school when he was an All-American at North Jersey powerhouse Bergen Catholic.

And anyone who watched Hard Knocks last season saw Cushing being a total asshole and lunatic. Take this interaction with running back Alfred Blue during a blocking drill.

After Blue gives Cushing an extra push, Cushing calls him out and absolutely pile drives Blue then goes to on to say “first of all you’re not gonna black me, second of all you don’t wanna fight me, and third of all… I’m the man.”

Cushing is just a walking stereotype of a juiced-up goon. The NFL’s testing policy is so lax that you basically have to be shooting up daily to get caught.

Cushing will lose $4 million because of the suspension but I seriously doubt this will really harm his career prospects.

Shoutout the Cushdog for being the biggest meathead out, it’s honestly really impressive.