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Brad Parscale November 13, 2020
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Trump catches the final L: So, why aren’t we more hype?

Twitter fingers turn to silent whimpers.

The MAGA aficionado. The nation’s big baby.  The triumphant loser. Trump, who happens to have the keys to the White House, has consistently caught Ls throughout his entire campaign.

And now it’s really a wrap…

LOL Trump is such a sore loser

From his rally in Oklahoma to bringing out clout rapper “Little Pimp,” the evil orange Trump tried and tried again to cloud his supporters’ minds with false hope to no avail.

Just to think of it… Remember his rally that was held on the weekend of Juneteenth. The holiday celebrating the emancipation of slaves, only adding to the despicable nature of Trump and his sinister sycophants.

Keep in mind: for Trump and his administration, the cruelty was the point.

Who’s mans was this?

For days leading up to the rally, he and his campaign manager Brad Parscale boasted about the one million people who signed up to attend.

The number of actual attendees? Around 6,200, per the Tulsa Fire Department.

Ah, the heavens beckoned down and gave us good folk a chance to laugh in an otherwise deeply grim time. Man’s got outplayed by Gen Z Tik-Tokers and K-Pop stans. BURGER.

Trump and Pence were supposed to speak before the rally outside the arena, to the massive overflow they expected.

Yeah, they had to scrap those plans when they pulled up to the 19,000-capacity arena that only had 6,000 inside. Wahhh.

Trump was hoisted by his own petard, bragging in his usual inarticulate, speak-for-dummies drawl about how extraordinary the rally was going to be.

If he had kept his mouth shut (a tactic, he seems as inept in as walking down a ramp at West Point), he could have done some damage control.

Have Fox News lie about the reasons for the rally’s failure all you want. You squeaky orange chew-toy. Even much of white America that voted for you in 2016 isn’t buying it.

Look how sad the guy looks on his walk home. Muhfucker looks like a college student the morning after Halloween on their walk of shame back to their dorm room.

“Have fun in Oklahoma?” I imagine Melania asking him as his college roommate (probably equally as platonic).

With head down, belly out, and wig off, I imagine Trump screaming into a pillow while the unwanted son Eric tries to console him.

“Who the fuck let you in here?!” Trump roars.

https://twitter.com/sarahcpr/status/1274495672239169536?s=20

But Trump wasn’t upset over 120,000 dead in “his” country. And he still isn’t. Moreso, he was sad because his ego was bruised over the lack of attendees for his rally.

We can only overlook the sheer horror in that realization to let out a quick and deep chortle at the man’s “misfortune.” Oh Donald, you just can’t get out of your own fucking way.

To add insult to injury to the spray-tanned Mrs. Puff, Tom Petty’s family sued Trump after the rally for his campaign’s use of Petty’s song, “I Won’t Back Down.”

Petty’s family members said in a statement:

“Trump was in no way authorized to use this song to further a campaign that leaves too many Americans and common sense behind. Both the late Tom Petty and his family firmly stand against racism and discrimination of any kind.”

Did you think we were exaggerating when we said Trump caught every nearby L? Na. Forreal though. Donald Beckham Jr. with the way this man is catching every loss in his vicinity.

Oh Donny boy… back to the bunker you go!

“My bunker is much bigger than Joe Biden’s though,” Trump wails in a squeaky four-year-old’s voice. Tears streaming down his face and tiny fists pounding the table in front of him.