If you ever need to be reminded that you are a broke boy, just take a look at the Fly Emirates new private suite cabin.

It’s a fully enclosed 40 square foot private room on an airplane that was inspired by Mercedes-Benz.

To add to the many amenities (a full bar and showers) that the Fly Emirates airline already offers, this First class private suite is a multi-million dollar game changer.

In Fly Emirates First class, private suite fliers will be able to lock themselves away in luxury heaven behind a floor to ceiling sliding door.

Because who wants to see other people while you are 30,000 miles high in the sky? There’s no reason to deal with peasants. Why, that is absurd!

You won’t even have to physically interact with flight staff. There is a video communication option that allows rich ball bags to order their fancy drinks and “canapes” (WTF is a canape?).

After receiving a notification, flight staff slides the order through some kind of service window.

But this isn’t just some weird solitary confinement you chill in while flying, behind the “sleek” metal curtain of luxury, is a soft leather chair that reclines into a bed, which is said to put you in a “zero gravity” position.

Whatever the fuck that means, all I hear is cha-ching. There go my life savings in one flight. If I want a zero-gravity flight I’ll just hitch a ride on top of the actual plane.

So you feel like you are actually in the crib, besides providing you with a bed, Fly Emirates will also provide you rich fucks with “an inspiration kit.” 

What is so inspiring about the kit? It comes packed with Byredo skin care products, a set of “Hydra Active moisturizing pyjamas,” and BULGARI amenity kits. BULGARI SHON!

Fly Emirates will also be blessing you with the flyest noise-canceling headphones, so you don’t hear that stupid baby crying for seven hours.

By the way, you already know I’m pocketing those headphones, it’s slow.

If you think this private suite is a tad ridiculous wait until you hear this. The room comes equipped with virtual windows and binoculars so you can look down on your haters while getting neck.

To go with your virtual windows the first class suite includes a closet to hang your clothes and 2,500 channels of on-demand entertainment on a 32-inch Full HD LCD TV screen.

Hopefully, we can all fly like this one day. Lowkey flying in style like this is definitely fucking goals.

When Kanye said, “I’ll turn the whole plane around your ass keeps complaining,” I thought to myself, what a ridiculous line. However, Qatar Airways don’t play.

An Iranian woman who found out her husband was cheating on her forced the Qatar Airways plane to land in Chennai, India while the flight made its way to Bali.

According to ABC, her husband was asleep on the plane, and using his finger to unlock his phone, she discovered he was cheating.

She flipped her shit and caused such a big scene that the crew members and everyone else on the plane got involved, causing an emergency landing situation.

Taken from Newsweek, an official from India’s Central Industrial Security Force spoke about the incident, giving this official statement:

“A lady along with her husband and a child, all Iranian nationals, were offloaded by Qatar airline as the lady passenger (who was intoxicated) misbehaved with crew members in-flight.”

The woman, her young son, and her husband were escorted back to the airport, and put on a flight back to their hometown of Doha. The rest of the passengers resumed their flight to Bali.

I mean… This sounds like a good thing for her, right? At least she doesn’t have to deal with a cheater for the remainder of her vacation in Bali.

Hopefully she’s since calmed down and they have been able to talk the ordeal over.

Don’t cause a scene, folks. Not even if your partner is cheating. You don’t want to cause an emergency landing and postpone hundreds of work and vacation plans for passengers.