brick by Claude J. Easy December 28, 2017
Have you recently found an icebox where your heart used to be? Is your body tense and are you finding it extremely difficult to get out of bed? Does Netflix seem more popping than an NYE party?
What about your attire, is it suffering too? Especially, your winter gear.
Like, are your coats, gloves, wool scarves and thickest pair of socks not working? Are your Timbs or Ugg boots suffering from damaging rock salt exposure? What about your location?
Do you live in the US and is your crib anywhere but the West Coast? If so, may God be with you because you are suffering from a very common ailment sweeping the US by storm, called the brickness.
The brickness, aka cold weather, is no joke and as we enter 2018 it’s only going to get worse. Especially over the next two weeks as frigid air blasts roll across the US.
Since Christmas Eve Flint, MI’s temperature dropped to -17°F, Mount Washington, NH saw a wind chill of -88°F, and parts of MN got as brick as -40°F.
AND…AND, it snowed for two days straight in Pennsylvania where “brickness” sufferers saw up to 34 inches of snowfall.
What’s grossly outrageous? Erie and Oswego Co., NY broke that two-day record with over 60 inches of snowfall.
Not to mention, this final week of December, in Boston, is shaping up to be the coldest on record. Basically, it’s going to be brick everywhere in the US but the West Coast.
To all of you who are in the same boat: WE ARE SICK AF!
So, why is this happening? Well, it’s winter, stupid. You can also blame the arctic-like weather on an omega block and the cold gyre.
WTF is an omega block and a cold gyre and why are they peacing us with this frigid cold weather? We didn’t do anything to them.
According to The Weather Channel, this colder weather pattern started as a northward-surging ribbon of high-pressure sky high in the Eastern Pacific Ocean, called an omega block.
Resembling the Greek letter Omega (Ω), the high pressure surge has made its way into parts of Alaska and Northwest Territories, and the Arctic Sea.
Filtering the cold air into the lower 48 states is a jet stream funneling the brickness from the Arctic Circle.
The brickness is amongst us.
Looks like that impressive blocking ridge in the northeast Pacific surges toward the North Pole by Christmas Eve, just as Santa heads out. No wonder the #cold outbreak. pic.twitter.com/CRhVQ6dBGs
— Jonathan Erdman (@wxjerdman) December 18, 2017
You better layer the fuck up because meteorologists are expecting it to get colder. Just so you get the gist, New York City is expected to have its coldest ball drop for NYE ever.
The Big Apple will see an air temperature near 10°F and wind chills of 0 to -5°F. INSERT PUN HERE: I guess it’ll be to cold for the ball to drop.
Shit, on Saturday and Sunday Minneapolis will hit a high of -5°F and lows of -15°F with a wind chill of -30°F and Chitown is peaced, left to battle single digit temperatures.
Listen, all in all, it’s going to be dangerously brick out there for the next couple of days. Don’t be a fool and think you can withstand the polar vortex.
You can’t and you will die. Stay warm.