Young Dolph recently dropped the video remix to his single “By Mistake” featuring Three 6 Mafia legends Juicy J and Project Pat. After watching the video and listening to the track non-stop around 50 times I couldn’t help but think what if…
“I just walked in Barneys, spent a 40 by mistake
If I take you out, b—h that’s a million dollar date”
On my budget, the thought of spending a whole million dollars on one date jogged my confidence. Even if I was to win the lottery my concept of racks would halt me from doing so.
Still, it was hard not to fantasize how Young Dolph would do this, especially after watching the “By Mistake” (Remix) video.
$40,000 deep at Barney’s
The first thought that came to mind was ‘Am I really about to drop one million on someone over the course of 24 hours¿’ What would Dolph do before the date? Probably cop the most racky fit out there. Bet, we out to Barney’s to spend 40 stacks by mistake.
It’s always “dress to impress” on the first date so it would only be right to cop the full Valentino fit. Down to the socks. Also, on some Dolph shit, I would have to cop two, maybe three, of everything.
$300,000 on some new custom ice
Dressed to the nines, it’s important not to forget about the ice and after spending a bag at Barney’s it’s only necessary to drop even more on some wattage.
Why? Because you’ll come to find out most posers out there aren’t rocking the real ice, as Dolph highlights in his latest track “Crashin’ Out.”
Lowkey, his Dolphin pendant by itself cost $50,000 and if you throw in his wrist ware plus an iced out tennis bracelet for shawty it should equal a nice 300k (probably more).
Still, that’s light for the Memphis rapper who wasn’t even mad over the $500,000 worth of jewelry that was stolen from him earlier this year.
Fug it let’s show out and drop another $350,000 on a camouflage wrapped Bentley and a driver for the day
Like Dolph for the first date we have to pull up in style and that means pulling up in the finest of whips with a driver because “I’m DUI right now, I don’t belong behind the wheel.”
Mind you we still have to scoop shawty.
Another $40,000 on getting shawty on some fly shi*t
Whoever Dolph is picking up has to be a baddie and that baddie has to be on her fly shit just like him. Ahead of time, Dolph already Cashapp’d her five racks to get her hair done and her hair did, even though she already had the bag.
After that Dolph would have his boy meet her at the salon with another bag so she and her friends can go shopping for that Fenty. You know why? Because Dolph is in the studio working on getting another check.
Before the driver picks shawty up, Dolph needs to spend at least $12,000 on the finest of trees
Smacked and coming out of the studio, Dolph realizes more than anything else he needs the best gas he can get. It’s smoke to impress these days, right? That means dropping another bag on weed for him, his girl, and PRE.
At about $4,000 per pound for premium, we already know Dolph is copping three. No discounts.
It’s time to scoop but little does our date know that Dolph copped the round trip flight on a PJ to Malibu from Memphis for $56,000
Naturally, for Dolph, it’s from “the projects to private jets picking up check after check,” always. Therefore it’s only right that he shows his date the way he pulls up to any location.
Know that shawty is getting scooped by a driver in a camouflage wrapped Bentley and dropping her and the Memphis rapper off at the runway to fly to dinner. At the end of the day, it’s all about royalty and treating the trap queen right.
Oh, and once they arrive scoopage in the Rolls is necessary for another $4,000.
When we land it’s straight to Nobu to spend at least $15,000.
It’s very important that Dolph shows his date that he always eats at the best restaurants because in this world if you have the budget why not spend a couple of racks at Nobu? Terrible right? Nah.
We’re talking about $78 small lobster plates, homie. Plus, shreddy know we are buying out the menu, copping the private rooms, and holding down PRE. Keep us away from suckers.
“I got a sweet tooth but I stay away from suckers (for real though)
Nobu in Malibu was my last supper (we eatin’ good)”
It’s time to hit the Ace of Diamonds strip club with $50,000 and hella backwoods
After a five-star meal, Dolph has to see if shawty is five-star trill and dope enough to hang with the boys. That means we out to the strip club. Dolph wants to see her throw ones out like the boss she truly is.
Truthfully, the strip club does reveal a lot of things and the “boss” emotion is definitely one of them.
Dolph brings it back to a $10,000 a night Malibu mansion for the vibes and more loud
Dolph is known to break the bank, on the regular. So, spending a million dollars in one night to show his date what it is might be type lightwork.
After, a ballin’ day with the Memphis legend, shawty is still surprised at the end of their extracurriculars when her and Dolph pull up to the Malibu mansion. Plus, you have to throw in the amenities.
A personal chef for an exquisite breakfast in the morning, extra gas, and a phantom just to roll out in. It can’t get any better than that, fam. How would you entertain your date if you had Dolph’s budget?