You will fail dolo: Why you need a team to fall back on when sh*t gets tough

Why is asking for help so difficult? Is it trust? Vulnerability? When did it become shameful to lean on one another? How did isolating yourself get so popular?

In a time where we’re more connected than we’ve ever been it’s a shame how seldom we call on each other for help. The stigma of neediness and the fear of overstepping our friendship boundaries has left us depending on our own understanding.

Rick Ross really has people thinking he’s self-made, and the lie has spread to entrepreneurs and aspiring artists alike.

But here’s a newsflash to all the lone wolves out there: you will fail alone.

It’s easy to get lost in your own head with nothing but your own thoughts. It’s easy to live a life governed by no one else’s perspective but your own. Not letting anyone in takes less effort but you’ll find that it’s during these times when your best effort makes no progress.

And that’s why people who venture alone fail.

No matter what the endeavor, we can do nothing by ourselves. This narrative of Mr. Do-It-All is toxic and detrimental to one’s career.

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The relationships we make, the family that nurtures us and the friends who have our back, all help add up to the total contributions that go into achieving success. Just because we’re not able to see or tell where the help came, doesn’t mean you didn’t receive it.

We begin to understand this best when we kill the ego.

The falsehood of heroism

The secret about assistance is that often times we have no idea we need it.

Our focus may be on our profession or the commas in our bank accounts — which might be doing well — but there may be other areas in our lives where we’re not experts in.

Take mental health for example. One in five American adults experienced a mental health issue and one in 10 young people experienced a period of major depression according too MentalHealth.gov. Because the priority isn’t necessarily getting into med school or nailing an audition, its something that often goes overlooked.

The stigma of heroism and the feeling that we must conquer our demons alone sometimes comes from a sense of responsibility. We know we can do better and, in our heads, we’re “supposed” to be better, so we make our problems territorial.

Call it guilt or call it stubbornness but when we get caught up in fixing our own problems, we get stuck in the same place for years. When we detach from the perceived glory from defeating a problem alone, or overcoming a feat by one’s self, we’ll begin to see that we can make life a lot easier for ourselves.

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Why team matters

We’re not perfect. Planes have parachutes and parachutes have back-up parachutes. The right friends should serve as such: catch falls for what we miss.

They’re not our parents or our protectors, but they’re reality checks to prevent us from seeing what only we project. Without them, pitfalls become easier to fall into and our scope for decision making becomes narrower.

You can see the value of having a team by looking at the individuals who lack one, or who thinks they lack one. There is a despair that come with loneliness.

Who wants to live in a big house alone? Who wants all the money in the world with no one to spend it with? Who doesn’t want someone to tell them when they’ve missed a belt loop or when there’s something in their nose?

A support team provides confidants to vent to, to overcome fear with, to bounce ideas off of, and people who can fuel you when you’re down. It’s amazing how liberating it is to feel like you can go to someone for help a limitless amount of times and not feel any judgement at all. You’d be surprised at what you can accomplish and the network you can establish. That’s the goal.

If you plan on accomplishing your wildest dreams alone, think again. Even if it’s on networking basis and strictly professional, you’re going to need individuals in your life you can trust to check all the spots you may fail to.

The relationships you make now are pivotal, and until we master them, our glow up will be that more difficult. Making sure your surround yourself with like-minded people who make you better is huge in dictating you future success.

The truth is, you really ain’t shit without your team.