border by August Prum July 14, 2017
Remember THE WALL?
One of Trump’s biggest campaign promises, to build a border wall along the southern border of the United States, has kind of fallen under the radar recently as Trump struggles to push through a new healthcare bill and tries his hand at international diplomacy.
While aboard Air Force 1 yesterday en route to Paris, Trump told reporters that the border wall is still very much on.
One brave reporter asked a question about Trump’s assertion that the WALL could include solar panels. The reporter asked, “you were joking about solar, right?”
What happened next was a very coherent and very normal response from our very stable president. Trump made sure everyone knew he was not playin’ about solar panels:
“No, not joking, no. There is a chance that we can do a solar wall. We have major companies looking at that. Look, there’s no better place for solar than the Mexico border — the southern border. And there is a very good chance we can do a solar wall, which would actually look good. But there is a very good chance we could do a solar wall.”
Trump is not only obsessed with the wall but also the aesthetic of it. He wants it to look good, but also be… see-through?
Wall Guy went on:
“One of the things with the wall is you need transparency. You have to be able to see through it. In other words, if you can’t see through that wall — so it could be a steel wall with openings, but you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side of the wall.”
People, you GOTTA BE ABLE TO SEE THROUGH THAT WALL, OK? Really, what use is a wall if you can’t see through the damn thing?
Ah, you non-wall-experts are wondering, “but why must we be able to see through the wall?” The answer is rather obvious. Sacks. Of. Drugs.
You see, people throw sacks of drugs over the wall and they may land on top of someone’s head and then, um, well, uh, you know, let’s just let the president explain,
“And I’ll give you an example. As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over-“
Hate when that happens. Sorry, go on, Mr. President,
“And if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over.”
“As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”
THEY THROW THOSE SACKS OF DRUGS, WHICH ARE, LIKE, 60 POUNDS AND THEN THEY LAND ON SOMEONE ON OUR SIDE’S HEAD AND THEN IT’S FUCKING OVER, OK?
I don’t know about you guys, but having a president that will protect people that walk on the southern border of the United States from flying sacks of drugs makes me a gosh darn proud frickin’ American.
Keep your walls transparent and your sacks of drugs very much on the ground.