The other week, beloved hip-hop artist and Queen of the BX Cardi B looked into her screaming crowd and confidently said,
“2018… If you bitches don’t have a job, if you not in school, get you a fucking sugar daddy.”
Keeping an extremely open mind on such a sensitive topic, let’s break down the definition and the realities of sugar daddies and mommas.
What is a “Sugar Daddy?”
Straight from Meriam Webster, the definition of a ‘sugar daddy’ is,
“A well-to-do usually older man who supports or spends lavishly on a mistress, girlfriend, or boyfriend.”
This benefactor/beneficiary relationship is so much more alive and thriving than we seem to accept. It doesn’t just exist in the “private” websites like Seeking Arrangement and Sugar Daddy Meet, but in the very core of our relationships.
Of course there are sugar mommies who are seeking companionship. There are male sugar babies, female sugar babies, and everything in between.
The most common relationship is male sugar daddy and female sugar baby. Let’s put it this way: Older men love beautiful, young women. Beautiful young women love to be spoiled by older men. Everyone wins.
If these relationships are consensual and non-abusive, what’s the problem?
The variations of what a “sugar baby” does is extensive. While some believe that a sugar baby comes tacked with a green light into a free-for-all sexual relationship, sugar-loving relationships sometimes exclude sex entirely.
Sugar babies set their limitations
We often hear horror stories about young women who were taken advantage of by older men in situations like this.
Our mothers warned us growing up to be careful around strangers, but sugar babies who follow the correct precautions should have the upper hand in all situations and no trouble at all navigating a typical sugar baby/daddy relationship.
This sugar baby got flamed hard on Youtube for being open and honest about what she was doing.
Alyssa, an aspiring model, made it clear that she knew her position as a sugar baby.
She often gets flown out to attend dates with her sugar daddies, and none of these men would ever meet under the pretense of possible sex, just a good time enjoying her company.
“It’s not prostitution,” said Alyssa, “It’s completely different.”
Her sugar daddy Oliver backs that up by saying he prefers to pay for everything anyway.
Sugar daddies don’t have to be rich
Contrary to popular belief, sugar daddies don’t have to be rich. There are sugar daddies and mommas with all different ranges of income.
It entirely depends on who you are and what you’re looking for. There are sugar babies that only offer their time, and get paid to spend it. There are others who demand lavish things and offer more compensation for it.
Sugar baby perks come in all shapes and sizes. Sugar babies can acquire trips, clothing, income, basically anything they and their partner decide on.
Most sugar babies seem to be between the ages of 18-22
Most sugar babies are between the ages of 18 and 22, and are in college. In 2013, Seeking Arrangement said that 44% of their sugar babies were in college.
Some sites even give you an account upgrade if you sign up with an .edu email.
These sites even glamorize the idea of having your tuition completely paid for by your sugar daddy.
At least they’re being real!
I will not pretend like I look down upon the lifestyle, even if it’s not my particular cup of tea. It’s seriously so common, you probably have a friend doing it on the low.
It seems to be something people turn to when they’re confident enough in themselves, willing to meet someone new, and/or strapped for cash, so what’s there to judge? Sounds comparable to a typical day of someone looking for a new job, or new direction in life.
Let’s all try to be a little more open minded about the way people choose to live their lives, shall we?