Recent mad sad study says women are happier after their husbands die

In a new NHS report, statistics found that women are much happier by the age of 85.

The Times has speculated that this may be a direct link to widowed women.

Yup, chicks are happier when their spouses die.

Let’s take a moment to consider a traditional male/female dynamic in the household. You come home from a long day at work, your wife is up to her knees preparing dinner after having just came from work herself, quickly cleaning up and prying two fighting toddlers off one another.

“Hey baby,” she says with a defeated smile on her face. You kick off your shoes and hang your jacket, kiss your wife and toddlers hello and grab a beer as you make your way over to the living room couch, tuning into ESPN.

The toddlers are gushing over your arrival, “Daddy, daddy! Come see what we made!” while mommy is making sure the rice and chicken doesn’t burn, the table is set, and her single girlfriend’s crisis is resolved as she balances the house phone between her shoulder blade and eardrum.

Now rinse and repeat for about 50 years.

Can you blame us for feeling some relief?

The highest reports of female mental illness are seen during middle age.

In a survey of 8,000 English adults, research has proven that women have more health problems than men.

As the kids leave for college or move out on their own and spouses pass the intricacies of a mid-life crisis, it can be difficult on women to go through, especially with menopause as a leading factor of hormonal imbalances.

It’s no wonder that by middle age, mental illnesses in women spikes 6%, going from 18% to 24%.

Conversely, men who are over the age of 85 and have no partner are more likely to develop depression.

Well, the best part of these findings is now that the leading factors of depression are established, both men and women can figure out different means of addressing and dealing with it.

Or, you know, look forward to better days to come.