So I gotta tell you something. Last week, all over my TL, I was seeing people talk about how people they knew, famous actors… That all of it is fake, man. They’re not even people. Just cake. Real fake cake.
— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (@CafeTheOof) July 11, 2020
And I have to tell you, I am not sure what to say. At first, I laughed too. I mean, have you seen some of these? I had no idea cake art was so realistic. And sure, some people accused it of being void of talent. Some said that cake artists were just sticking the outsides of things onto cakes, almost like gluing a shell to it. Camouflaging it. Like a spy.
i can’t do this anymore pic.twitter.com/YvIPgFZQrC
— ✰ (@zeyynno_) July 12, 2020
But the worst part? Not knowing the taste. Is it fondant that they’re using? Fondant doesn’t taste all that good. Or is it the rind, like some people said? That would taste awful. Imagine eating the outside of a shoe, for real.
The Horrid Truth….
But I’m not sure if cake artists are really cheating. Like, it’s disturbingly realistic. Apparently, according to a cake decorator who specializes in realism, Sarah Hardy,
And real it looks. Maybe it’s a layer of marzipan over and just intense sculpting. Or it could be the fondant, or maybe it’s the shading they spray on it, but man…I never realized it. Apparently, neither did the internet. So, people started taking a closer look at things. That’s when people began to think, wait a minute.
— Quiggly Quad-tits (@Burniedankers) July 13, 2020
All this happening, I started thinking too. What about the people around me? My sisters, my wife… One couldn’t be too sure. I found myself hugging them longer, trying to see if they were squishier than before.
I smell my wife’s hair longer too, trying to see if it smells like sugar and fondant or just her normal perfume. When she tells me to get a band-aid, she cut herself, I find myself hesitating for just a second…just to see if she bleeds…or if vanilla icing falls out. Before you call me crazy, I am not the only one who’s like this.
I knew that drink was too good to be true pic.twitter.com/LoM1lkt4Xf
— Jacob™️ (@yourloyalpal) July 14, 2020
Twitter users have reacted to this cake-truth in a variety of ways. Some people relished in the moment, meanwhile others tried to figure out, what it all means. The simulation wasn’t melting, it never was anything. It’s just cake.
no idea where the writers of 2020 are going with this cake subplot. it doesn't at all fit the tone of the rest of the season
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) July 13, 2020
However, there was one thing in common. Soon, the sense of paranoia began to seep in.
After one too many cake videos, twitter users grew paranoid and tired of the constant betrayal. The unsureness of it all.
NO. MORE. CUTTING. OBJECTS. that turn out to be cakes pic.twitter.com/wVwoMfWRfe
— I think you should leave turbo team (@ITYSL) July 12, 2020
The question are we human or are we cake? continues to lurk around us but it looks like an answer won’t come for a while. Maybe never. Overwhelmed by unanswerable questions, the cake meme died as quickly as it started.
Unlike my full-hearted assurance that my wife is completely 100% human, not at all cake…At least the assurance that will be there, after we go swimming at the beach. No cake can take that kind of heat and saltwater.