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Real Fake Cake: How do you know you’re not cake too?

So I gotta tell you something. Last week, all over my TL, I was seeing people talk about how people they knew, famous actors… That all of it is fake, man. They’re not even people. Just cake. Real fake cake.

And I have to tell you, I am not sure what to say. At first, I laughed too. I mean, have you seen some of these? I had no idea cake art was so realistic. And sure, some people accused it of being void of talent. Some said that cake artists were just sticking the outsides of things onto cakes, almost like gluing a shell to it. Camouflaging it. Like a spy.

But the worst part? Not knowing the taste. Is it fondant that they’re using? Fondant doesn’t taste all that good. Or is it the rind, like some people said? That would taste awful. Imagine eating the outside of a shoe, for real.

The Horrid Truth….

But I’m not sure if cake artists are really cheating. Like, it’s disturbingly realistic. Apparently, according to a cake decorator who specializes in realism, Sarah Hardy, it’s all just talent, attention to detail, and honest work. It can take days to make a realistic cake.

And real it looks. Maybe it’s a layer of marzipan over and just intense sculpting. Or it could be the fondant, or maybe it’s the shading they spray on it, but man…I never realized it. Apparently, neither did the internet.  So, people started taking a closer look at things. That’s when people began to think, wait a minute.

The simulation.

All this happening, I started thinking too. What about the people around me? My sisters, my wife… One couldn’t be too sure. I found myself hugging them longer, trying to see if they were squishier than before.

I smell my wife’s hair longer too, trying to see if it smells like sugar and fondant or just her normal perfume. When she tells me to get a band-aid, she cut herself, I find myself hesitating for just a second…just to see if she bleeds…or if vanilla icing falls out. Before you call me crazy, I am not the only one who’s like this.

Twitter users have reacted to this cake-truth in a variety of ways. Some people relished in the moment, meanwhile others tried to figure out, what it all means. The simulation wasn’t melting, it never was anything. It’s just cake.

However, there was one thing in common. Soon, the sense of paranoia began to seep in.

After one too many cake ­­videos, twitter users grew paranoid and tired of the constant betrayal. The unsureness of it all.

The question are we human or are we cake? continues to lurk around us but it looks like an answer won’t come for a while. Maybe never. Overwhelmed by unanswerable questions, the cake meme died as quickly as it started.

Unlike my full-hearted assurance that my wife is completely 100% human, not at all cake…At least the assurance that will be there, after we go swimming at the beach. No cake can take that kind of heat and saltwater.