10K80 by Joshua Eferighe July 18, 2019
It’s easy to get caught up in the tunnel vision of what we deserve and become blinded by how we feel we should be treated.
Cut me off on the road and I’m cutting you off in return. Talk about me behind my back and you’re getting a mouth-full of unpleasantries when I see you. Don’t honor my hard work and I’m quitting on you with no two weeks notice.
It seems like we live in an era that leans towards using the strong arm over the subtle one. Our feelings reign supreme and anyone who crosses us is susceptible to our wrath and vengeance.
Don’t get me wrong, people will only treat you in the manner in which you allow and we all have principals that should never be a compromise. Still, that doesn’t mean being reactionary is the answer.
Yes, we have the right to be angry and sure, there are aggressions and microaggressions that we most likely have to deal with on a daily basis, but we’ll never reach our full potential or go as far as we’d like in life unless we master the crafts of meekness and vulnerability.
The textbook definition of meekness defines it as remaining peaceful — submissive even– in the face of provocation. In the same vein, vulnerability is defined as susceptible to being wounded — unguarded.
As “weak” as these two terms may come across, they’re actually methods to unlocking success in our relationship and in our lives overall. It’s all a matter of recognizing what the combination of the two can do.
As satisfying as getting the last word can be, it’s an entirely different ball game when you detach, fall back, and not say anything at all. It reserves your energy, protects, your mind, and makes you look better in the long-run.
Getting into it at the moment with someone, who, most of the times, is someone not even worth getting into it with, is like giving someone the power to get you out of pocket.
Before engaging in conflict we have to seriously consider if we’re just wasting energy, frustration or if something constructive going to come of it. Because if it’s the former, it’s not worth it.
It’s crucial to remember the long-game at all times. What may seem like a loss in terms of a shouting match or battle of wits, or however warfare may manifest in your life, won’t be won in one moment.
Besides, how effectively does it end up being anyway?
If you think about it, nothing really gets done in an intense argument. There’s arguing and fighting and a lot of talking, but the true resolve comes when tempers have died down and the two parties are talking civilly.
This is why meekness and vulnerability should be active tools we use in all areas of life. Being the bigger person isn’t conceding victory. You’re not losing by walking away or choosing not to get as worked up or disrespectful, which is a common belief.
If the matter at hand is really worth it to both individuals, it’ll be up for discussion at another time, which will allow us to communicate in a more effective way.
A large reason the idea of being vulnerable isn’t attractive on paper and why a lot of us don’t think to utilize it in professional and tactical manner is because they think it puts them at a disadvantage.
For a lot of us, we think if someone knows our weaknesses they’ll use it against us or if you show how much you appreciate somebody, they’ll think they’re better than you. These are assumptions just aren’t true and real. Really, they are insecurities that block us from establishing deeper connections that could take us exactly where we’re trying to go.
When we open up and we’re honest about how we feel with our co-workers, bosses, partners, or lovers, no matter how difficult, true bonds can grow.
Conflict is usually a symptom of misunderstanding and miscommunication, which is why cultivating the most conducive environment for those two elements to thrive should be our main priority.
The higher road isn’t a route taken to runaway, it’s a different strategy and gameplan. Use meekness and vulnerability in your life and see just how much your world will change.