Got jokes? The social distancing stoner will love these tweets
As the world faces this pandemic it’s pertinent that we are still able to have a laugh or two, even if it’s on the dolo. Most importantly we shouldn’t forget to engage in a time where social media will actually serve its “real” purpose.
People are venting on all platforms — Tik Tok, Facebook, Instagram, the list goes on. Still, it seems as if the best threads to keep us engaged can be found on Twitter.
This dumpster fire of a response to the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak is just getting started and responsible stoners everywhere are having the existential crises they’ve been prepping for all their lives.
We’re sure no matter if you’re a stoner or a straight edge sober soldier, we’re positive you’ll get a chuckle or two from the tweets we found. Here are some of the best tweets from pot pals stuck inside.
1. A rigid work from home schedule
girls under quarantine only know 7 things: smoke weed, take hot bath, play video game, watch art restoration videos on YouTube, pet cat, eat hot chip, and lie
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) March 13, 2020
2. This critique of capitalism that makes me want to call my plug just to catch up
it’s wild how my weed guys have put rona protocols in place faster than the companies some people work for
— Trey Smith (@SlimiHendrix) March 13, 2020
3. A much-needed lesson in Australian cannabis culture
we should all be like this guy
*apparently "punch some cones" means "rip my bong" in Australian https://t.co/W2f625t9u2
— Zach Harris (@PotCzach) March 16, 2020
4. And one in Dutch priorities
https://twitter.com/hausofiau/status/1239239961288851456?s=21
5. This callout that triggered college improv troupe flashbacks
the quarantine is turning me into all the guys I’ve ever dated (smoke weed all day, can’t stop jerking off, eating bread) and making me miss them
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) March 13, 2020
6. A reminder that #HealthIsWealth
I’m really concerned about my health rn so I’m staying inside all day drinking and doing drugs
— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) March 15, 2020
7. Kush is my cologne
https://twitter.com/keikibikini/status/1239193958342963206?s=21
8. An American Hero not letting anything shake up their routine
https://twitter.com/budfaery/status/1239372753280663552?s=21
9. Taking the Pence approach to staying well
I have run out of weed and will have to go to the dispensary thus risking my life please send thoughts and prayers
— Rachel Wolfson (@wolfiecomedy) March 16, 2020
10. An “aware of her existence” QuEeN
People are making self quarantine sound like an extreme measure as if you guys have never stayed inside by yourself for a few days to avoid the unbearable reality of being
— G. L. (@gldivittorio) March 12, 2020
11. Flattening the curve
i am drunk and high at 1:16 PM, BUT in the privacy of my own home, and for this i deserve a nobel peace prize.
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonnelly) March 15, 2020
12. An actual PSA
wash your hands and clean your bong
— Rachel Wolfson (@wolfiecomedy) March 15, 2020
13. A text campaign I wouldn’t unsubscribe from
My local dispensary texted me how to smoke a joint without even putting ur lips on it my weed store has done more to protect my health than the president
— ⌘ left at london ⌘ (@LeftAtLondon) March 14, 2020
14. The question we’ve ALL been asking ourselves Andi
“Is this a sick cough or just a weed cough?” is a question I am already tired of asking myself
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) March 16, 2020
15. YoU JuSt hAVeN’t HaD tHe rIgHt sTrAiN
Now is a good time for people to smoke weed because it will make them paranoid and they’ll be too freaked out to leave the house.
— Doug Benson (@DougBenson) March 15, 2020
16. Little Nas as “that aunt” in the family group chat:
— i am reading all that (@LilNasX) March 14, 2020
17. Challenging stereotypes
https://twitter.com/stoned2thabones/status/1238680200814231554?s=21
18. Blunt cruise = outdoor recreation?
When you got weed in the car pic.twitter.com/e0tfpxjzJY
— Stay Lit (@LitPact) March 11, 2020
19. #DontPassThatGrass for a hot minute
https://twitter.com/whereisblockaye/status/1236472080998248448?s=21
20. And if you MUST, please keep the cyph small
https://twitter.com/jordynnegrace/status/1238155563705470978?s=21
Make sure you stay safe kulture fam and if you’re feeling lonely feel free to shoot us a Tweet, drop a comment, or DM us. We’re always down to have the shmacked discussions.