One thing you’ll come to find (if you already haven’t already) is that as you age, your circle of friends of friends becomes smaller.
Sometimes, it’s by design and other times it’s just how things turn out. Either way, you’ll find that you simply cannot move with certain individuals after a while and you’ll see that, in some instances, you’re better off alone.
With that being said, greatness cannot be accomplished by one individual effort. Reflect on any success story, and in each of them, you’ll find that there were key people that made the journey possible.
It can be your mom’s roof or girlfriend’s unwavering faith. It could be a professor who went the extra mile to pull out your potential or a best friend who never let you quit. We’re happier when we’re complimented, and having multiple perspectives gives us a leg up in competition, no matter what field we wish to pursue.
No matter how big or small your core group of friends are, I believe there are three characteristics mandatory to embody if they are to be beneficial to your life.
That’s a friend you can confide in; a friend that you can rely on at all times; and a friend that will push you further than anyone else.
It’s important to be strategic when plotting about the people we want in our lives. We cannot be friends with just anybody.
Being judgemental is something our parents instilled in us at an early age, as some friends came with an automatic green light while other friends were banned indefinitely, and much is the same as we go throughout life.
When we keep trustworthy friends we’re not afraid of being vulnerable around who bring the best out of us, we give ourselves a better chance at reaching our highest heights.
As universal harmony sounds, the truth is, everyone is not going to get along. Get the right people around you and see how different your life will become.
Not every friend you have is going to be the friend you share your darkest secrets with, or who you cry in front of, but the more people you have in your life you can do this with, the better.
A great trend our society is experiencing is the growing comfortability in discussing mental health.
Within the past year, we’ve witnessed influencers in hip-hop and in professional sports speak on the power in seeking help and handling trauma in a healthy manner. A lot of times it comes down to having someone to talk to, and that can be solved by having more of those types of people in your life.
Hopefully, it’s being reversed, but at a time there seemed to be an emphasis placed on independence and not trusting anyone. “No New Friends” was a popular tune of the time and keeping your lips sealed was praised.
However, vulnerability is amazingly refreshing. Knowing you can be a complete emotional wreck in front of someone and they still see you as they do when you’re winning is an invaluable quality, and it’s one you should demand of your personnel.
As fundamental as it may sound, when you think of the number of people you can blindly trust, it usually comes out to a figure that’s a lot lower than you’d think.
Everyone has an agenda, and, whether if you originally shared a vision with someone or not, if there’s a change in heart and in result a conflict of interest or no common interest, you may find someone you at one point trusted doing what’s in their best interest, despite if it’s detrimental to yours. That’s life.
That is why friends who will be in your corner and never do anything to compromise what you have going for yourself are necessary.
I’m not saying everyone close to you must share your vision, but they also must be someone who will invest and encourage, not promote doubt.
Along with people you can be yourself around and people you can trust, you need people in your life who will demand your best at all times.
We need people in our lives who can check us. You never want to get to a point in your life where no one can tell you anything. You want to always have someone around you that can penetrate your ego, or else you’ll be susceptible to your own bias.
Imagine the ambition you naturally have fueled by that of a close friend — that’s how you level up. Just like a parent concerned with who their child hangs out with, we should vet who we let close to us.
When we’re intentional about who we expose ourselves to, we can control how we’re influenced.