Bruh by August Prum July 21, 2017
Forbes went deep into the dark underworld of legal weed and have uncovered something very disturbing.
As it turns out… you can eat weed.
I know, I was horrified as well.
Who would’ve thought of this madness? Baking weed into some sort of edible food, it’s startling stuff.
According to Forbes’ Mike Montgomery, it’s incredibly difficult to bake weed into food.
“The process is way more labor intensive — it requires sourcing and roasting cacao beans, grinding chocolate for three to four days, then carefully tempering and molding it into bars with just the right ratio of cannabis. But Fosburg believes it’s worth the effort.”
Ah yes, making edibles requires sourcing cacao beans and three to four days of grinding chocolate. Some kid with an oven and an ounce of mids could never “carefully temper and mold” weed brownies or anything.
Folks, it takes an expert to make weed edibles. You need to be someone like Matt Fosburg, founder of Ez THC, who is profiled in Montgomery’s article.
As it turns out, edible weed is a lot like heirloom tomatoes and artisanal pickles(!),
“But just as we’ve seen markets for food like heirloom tomatoes and artisanal pickles, Fosburg believes there will be consumers who prefer a gourmet product.”
First of all, what the shit is an artisanal pickle? These pickles are almost as much of a mystery as edible weed.
This whole article reveals quite the industry behind people eating weed.
It turns out that not everyone wants to smoke pot! Sometimes people just wanna eat the pot.
In Colorado, the chill young stoner cousin of America, sales of edible pot have gone from “$17 million in the first quarter of 2014 to $53 million in the third quarter of 2016.”
Thankfully the internet let me know I was not alone in my distress that people are eating the pot.
Get outta here Forbes! MARIJUANA YOU CAN EAT? You crazy for this one, that will never catch on. https://t.co/MBhxVQWbGU
— Kevin Shively (@KevinSaysThings) July 20, 2017
Well now I've seen everything https://t.co/KnVilJYzEZ
— @email@example.com (@RoyalSapien) July 20, 2017
FORBES BREAKING NEWS- the next big thing in water? "Ice cubes". https://t.co/oV2YdftCul
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 20, 2017
forbes is 10000% a cop https://t.co/Q5lnsdLkZs
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) July 20, 2017
Hold your loved ones tightly and pray they never eat the weed.