If you ever need to be reminded that you are a broke boy, just take a look at the Fly Emirates new private suite cabin.
It’s a fully enclosed 40 square foot private room on an airplane that was inspired by Mercedes-Benz.
To add to the many amenities (a full bar and showers) that the Fly Emirates airline already offers, this First class private suite is a multi-million dollar game changer.
In Fly Emirates First class, private suite fliers will be able to lock themselves away in luxury heaven behind a floor to ceiling sliding door.
Because who wants to see other people while you are 30,000 miles high in the sky? There’s no reason to deal with peasants. Why, that is absurd!
You won’t even have to physically interact with flight staff. There is a video communication option that allows rich ball bags to order their fancy drinks and “canapes” (WTF is a canape?).
After receiving a notification, flight staff slides the order through some kind of service window.
But this isn’t just some weird solitary confinement you chill in while flying, behind the “sleek” metal curtain of luxury, is a soft leather chair that reclines into a bed, which is said to put you in a “zero gravity” position.
Whatever the fuck that means, all I hear is cha-ching. There go my life savings in one flight. If I want a zero-gravity flight I’ll just hitch a ride on top of the actual plane.
So you feel like you are actually in the crib, besides providing you with a bed, Fly Emirates will also provide you rich fucks with “an inspiration kit.”
What is so inspiring about the kit? It comes packed with Byredo skin care products, a set of “Hydra Active moisturizing pyjamas,” and BULGARI amenity kits. BULGARI SHON!
Fly Emirates will also be blessing you with the flyest noise-canceling headphones, so you don’t hear that stupid baby crying for seven hours.
By the way, you already know I’m pocketing those headphones, it’s slow.
If you think this private suite is a tad ridiculous wait until you hear this. The room comes equipped with virtual windows and binoculars so you can look down on your haters while getting neck.
To go with your virtual windows the first class suite includes a closet to hang your clothes and 2,500 channels of on-demand entertainment on a 32-inch Full HD LCD TV screen.
Hopefully, we can all fly like this one day. Lowkey flying in style like this is definitely fucking goals.