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Company in Wisconsin set to install microchips into employees. Nah.

The antichrist is somewhere smiling. Wisconsin-based tech company, Three Square Market, has decided on an option that allows a rice sized microchip to be implanted in their employees.


The chip technology, which will be implanted between the thumb and index finger of employees, is set to start on Aug. 1 and will allow its host access into the building and an express pass at the cafeteria.

With just a wave of the hand, Three Square Market employees will be able to use the RFID (Radio-Frequency Identification) Chip to open doors and buy food.

How would you feel if your boss asked you about implanting a chip inside of your hand? Uh, no I’m good homie.

According to the New York Times, more than 50 out of 80 employees at Three Square’s headquarters volunteered.

It seems as if employees were not only intrigued by the idea but also excited about it.

According to the NYT, Todd Westby, the chief executive of Three Square was surprised at the positive response.

“Much to my surprise, when we had our initial meeting to ask if this was something we wanted to look at doing, it was an overwhelming majority of people that said yes…”

Mr. Westby continued,

“It exceeded my expectations. Friends, they want to be chipped. My whole family is being chipped — my two sons, my wife and myself.”

Chill. My guy got the whole family involved. So fucking sus.

Three Square Market will not be the first company to use the RFID Chip. According to the Washington Post,

“Epicenter, a digital hub in Stockholm that houses more than 300 start-ups and innovation labs for larger companies, has made the implanted chip available to its workers and to member organizations in recent years.”

Could this be a scheme to monitor worker output? Apparently, this is not the goal of the chip. But who knows what this technology can be used for if put into the wrong hands.

According to Alessandro Acquisti, a professor of information technology and public policy at Carnegie Mellon University’s Heinz College,

“Companies often claim that these chips are secure and encrypted, but ‘encrypted’ is a pretty vague term, which could include anything from a truly secure product to something that is easily hackable.”


Acquisti continued,

“That technology designed for one purpose may later be used for another. A microchip implanted today to allow for easy building access and payments could, in theory, be used later in more invasive ways: to track the length of employees’ bathroom or lunch breaks, for instance, without their consent or even their knowledge. Once they are implanted, it’s very hard to predict or stop a future widening of their usage.”

Besides being at risk to have your actual soul hacked, the RFID Chip could put the chip-haver’s health at risk. Although the chip was approved by the FDA back in 2004 it still does run a chance of causing an infection.

I am not with the shits.