Bruh by Kylie Marsh December 17, 2020
Cheesy Christmas cards are like your least favorite aunt and uncle. They tell bad jokes, they always seem to irk you at the worst times, and yes, somehow, they even smell a little.
It’s officially the holiday season and you’re only a month away from being out of this horrible unforgettable year, which likely means your fridge or kitchen countertop is now covered in the same old, bland, boring, corny family Christmas cards.
Look, I get it. This time of year, people want to be together with loved ones and friends to reflect on how much they’ve been through.
And this year might be extra special, considering the violence that erupted over the summer over police brutality and racism, and the public health crisis that continues to take a toll on Americans.
While gatherings with family are discouraged to preserve personal health, Americans are sending a historic volume of mail this year.
But like a lot of us, I’m jaded. I’ve had it up to here with the false sense of happiness I see on television perpetuated in commercials made by mass corporations. That lobby to the same government who’s responsible for grossly mishandling COVID conditions.
I know I’m not alone when I say that seeing the same cheesy Christmas cards I’ve been seeing for as many years as I’ve been alive from families whom I don’t even recognize doesn’t make me feel any jollier this year.
Here’s a roundup of the corniest Christmas cards that should be left in the past.
First up: we’ve all received the Christmas cards that are just photos of acquaintances and their families. Even worse are the ones that just feature their less-than-beautiful little kids.
You probably got one from your boss whom you despise. I dare you to take a shot for every single cheesy Christmas card you’ve received this year.
Oh, are they all wearing the same matching holiday pajamas? Fugly Christmas sweaters? Where’s the child that looks like a complete troublemaker?
Sure, it makes for a cute photo, but what makes you think I want your family inside of my own home? Why is it so hard to sit down and come up with creative ideas for a Christmas card this year?
You can always imagine the dialogue between annoyed family members as they falsely pose like they’re having the time of their lives when most of the year they can’t stand each other.
Don’t get me started on any of the cards that have Santa, his elves, and his reindeer wearing masks. We all just want to forget reality for a bit.
Any card that makes a pun on “sleigh.” Stop doing this. It’s not funny. Not even really cute. It’s gonna make the person who sees it cringe so hard they throw their back out.
Lastly, I hate those corny Christmas cards that are just characters from pop culture wearing Santa hats. Game of Thrones and The Office aren’t substitutions for personalities.
If you’re a photographer, cheesy Christmas cards and photos for holiday greetings are a creative goldmine of ideas. There’s a reason they’re so popular – it’s what the everyday person wants. Now get out there and take some merry and unique photos that can be made into original, non-corny Christmas cards.