Prince Harry is looking to join #TeamSwirl by adding some melanin to his royal family’s lineage. You already know Black folk across the globe are stupid hyped.
If you haven’t heard the news or you were somewhere hiding underneath a pebble this Monday, the Prince of Wales announced his engagement to actress Meghan Markle this morning.
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Yeah, this is really happening. We are about to have a Black princess y’all or duchess or whatever.
To us Blacks, it doesn’t matter what Markle’s royal British title is, because to us, all that matters is that she is about to be real Black royalty.
Plus, you already know Princess Diana would be proud. Especially since the gold band ring, Harry designed for his fiancee features a large Botswanian diamond and two smaller outer diamonds from Diana’s personal collection.
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You know who else is proud? Markle’s parents. Harry made sure he reached out and got their approval. Just because you’re the Prince of Wales doesn’t mean that you can just scoop someone’s daughter, forever.
According to a statement released by the Kensington Palace, shortly after the engagement announcement, her father, Mr. Thomas Markle and her mother, Mrs. Doria Ragland said,
“We are incredibly happy for Meghan and Harry. Our daughter has always been a kind and loving person. To see her union with Harry, who shares the same qualities, is a source of great joy for us as parents.We wish them a lifetime of happiness and are very excited for their future together,” the statement ended.”
But wait, you have to check out Markle’s mama with the dreads flowing in the wind, hann!
Nothing can happen to Prince Harry and his newly announced fiancee Meghan Markle. We must protect them at all costs. Even after the wedding which takes place in spring 2018.
The two better get to work after that wedding and put a whole bunch of kids in that Nottingham Cottage. It has a lot of space for biracial angels.
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This wouldn’t be the first time Grey has flipped one of his art pieces to high profile client. Grey’s client list also includes Diddy, Nick Cannon, The Game, and former L.A. Dodgers player Carl Crawford.
Nor is it the first time he’s sold a piece for $40,000. According to the most hot-boy news source on the entire planet, TMZ, $40k is his going rate.
Sheesh, that’s a lot of guap for someone who’s still in high school. Doesn’t say much for the rest of us who are making pennies at some part-time hustle flipping retail or delivering pizza.
Regardless of your hustles, let’s look at it this as motivation for those of us who want to take our passions to the bank. At 16, Grey was the youngest person ever to grace the Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list in the Art & Style section.
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Grey started his artistic journey from a very young age. According to an interview, he did with Paper Magazine Grey has been flexing in the art industry from 8-years-old,
“I’ve been drawing all my life, and at the age of 8 I was going to school 6 days a week — 5 days of regular school and art school on Saturdays. Weekends I would wake up early and my dad would play different art documentaries for me to watch all day so at 8 I was exploring different art forms, galleries, and museums. By 11, I was creating art professionally. My first painting was of the Queen — Amy Winehouse.”
This young homie has the heart of a lion.
Hopefully, we’ll be seeing more of Grey’s work as the Miami Art Basel is gearing up to commence in the beginning of December. One thing we know for sure is that Grey’s got a very prominent life ahead of him.
Peep this recent mural Grey did at Wynwood Walls & Art District in Miami
While you were getting ready to storm the stores for discounted Xbox One Xs and Supreme on Black Friday others were looking for discounted guns.
On Saturday, the FBI reported that they received a whopping 203,086 background check requests for gun purchases on Black Friday.
That’s a new record, which has been broken every year for the past two years. Close to a 10 percent increase for both 2016 (185,713) and 2015 (185,345).
But wait, there’s a twist!
This is not a measure of actual gun sales. According to USA Today, the number of firearms sold on Black Friday is likely higher because multiple firearms can be included in one transaction by a single buyer.
We should be wary. The surge comes in lieu of an order from Attorney General Jeff Sessions to do a sweeping review of the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS).
Why the sweep? For 20 years the NICS has served as the centerpiece of the government’s effort to block criminals from obtaining firearms, but they’ve failed on numerous occasions.
According to Stephen Morris, a former assistant FBI director, told USA TODAY after the Texas shooting, “that the NICS system has long been plagued by incomplete or outdated information.”
Just take a look at the recent case of the Texan church shooter Devin Kelley. Even though he was a court-martialed Air Force veteran Kelley was still able to cop guns regardless of his criminal background.
The Air Force did not provide the FBI with the details of the court-martial, which would have blocked the 2016 sale of the murder weapon to Devin Kelley.
So, how many out of the 203,086 people that registered for guns on Black Friday or the 27.5 million background checks conducted in 2016 fall into the same category?
We are still waiting to find out. Hopefully, Sessions’ FBI sweep of the NICS database will answer some questions.
Besides worrying about an archaic NICS database there also seems to be a bigger issue at hand. An issue regarding gun manufacturers who are more concerned about making a dollar than public safety.
Robyn Thomas, executive director of the Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence, said in an interview with USA Today that,
“Companies that are more worried about making money than the safety of the public or law enforcement officials sworn to protect them shouldn’t be given a platform to sell their products… It’s time to turn off the lights on these sites so these companies won’t be able to enable illegal gun trafficking or the next mass shooting.”
We all know that when Thanksgiving finally arrives we are all a little skeptical as to who will be pulling up to the family table. Your fuckboy cousins, your weird uncle and your moms, together in one room are sometimes too much.
Especially if your shmacked at the table, you begin to reminisce about the reasons why you only see certain family members once a year. Fuck it. Let’s say you decided to dub your family for Thanksgiving this year or maybe your plans fell through.
Like you were supposed to chill with wifey’s family but you started the fake argument, so you didn’t have to go. Don’t stress? Roll up, cop wild amounts of turkey, and imagine yourself at the most popping thanksgiving tables around the world.
Here is a list of Thanksgiving tables you would want to be at this year.
A Thanksgiving with TDE would start off with Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith yelling at all of us to sit down as he plops into his seat at the head of the table. This is all while you return from smoking a backwood with the original black lip bastard, Ab-Soul.
Of course, Schoolboy Q would have to carve the turkey. SZA would have to sing one song and who wouldn’t want to hear old tales from Jay Rock over pumpkin pie?
After grubbing down you would enjoy getting a light sauce with Kung Fu Kenny. Then force him to go bar for bar off the shits. A TDE turkey day would be too lit.
You know the Almanzars are getting it popping this year for Thanksgiving. They have a lot to celebrate: a number one billboard record, a fresh engagement, and an all-around money year. So the vibes are finna be very special and turnt.
Plus, we know Offset and his Migos fam have to pull up with. They don’t have a choice they are actually his fam for real.
How can you not see a lot of blunts, a lot of Hennessy, and a lot of great food in rotation at this Thanksgiving? That’s anyone’s type of party.
Who doesn’t want to sit down at any table, at any time of year, with these guys? This is a fine group men *Trump’s voice.* Plus they know how to keep it real cozy. A matter of fact too cozy.
This would be a trippy Thanksgiving to remember, one for the books. An all gold turkey with Dior stuffing, ju hurd. Everyone would be on their Flacko shit. The Mob is too fly for turkeys anyway, ya digg.
I can hear it now, as Ferg rips a turkey leg while belting out a huge “UHHHHH!”
There is definitely always a legendary Thanksgiving at the Smith household. Jaden and Willow are already icons, Will and Jada are the bomb couple, and the Fresh Prince fam probably shows up too.
I bet you would dub your entire family right now just to be considered a Wayan. You’d probably give up a leg to be a half-cousin twice removed or something like that, huh?
Well no one’s judging, especially if you are alone this Thanksgiving. The Wayan legacy is unreal and to be apart of it would be an honor.
Just put yourself at the table of the OGS in comedy. You’d be laughing the whole night and wondering when you could catch a second wind. Laughing until it hurts would never hurt so good.
Yeah, a Thanksgiving at the Wayans household is definitely a healthy and hearty one.
NYC porn fans, get ready to lose your marbles. PornHub is bringing their first pop-up shop to SoHo for an entire month.
So hyped you don’t know what to do, huh? Let me give a quick sneak peek of what you’ll be seeing at an event like this.
The grand opening will be this Friday, Black Friday, so there’s no need to make post-Thanksgiving plans. This is probably the most lituation you can find.
For the PornHub pop up opening know that you will see a gang of adult film actresses,
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Adding to the fun, PornHub has also paired up with the Museum of Sex. It’s stupid lit as the collab opens the door for a gang of dope merch from the museum’s gift shop to be sold at the PornHub pop-up.
Besides the Taschen books, specialty aphrodisiac apothecary herbs, and sex games PornHub pop-up goers will also be granted access to the recently sold-out streetwear PornHub x Richardson Collab.
Make sure you make it to the opening weekend because amongst other PornHub garments this capsule is going to fly off of the shelves.
To hype up the PornHub pop-up’s opening weekend even more, patrons will be invited to interact with a camera that submits a live feed straight to Pornhub.com.
Another bonus, Ann Summers will have her collection of toys there for sale too. Just in case you need to cop something freaky for yourself and your significant other to play with while you are shmacked on Christmas.
Just in case you need directions you can catch the R, W, C, or E trains to Prince St. or Spring St. stations then Google Maps the rest of the way, it’s 2017, it’s almost impossible to be a lost boy.
If you can’t make it for the opening weekend, don’t worry the store will be open Mondays to Saturdays 11 am to 8 pm ET and Sundays from 12 pm to 7 pm ET until December 20. You lit don’t worry.
Not in NYC? A Pornhub pop-up might be coming to you. Well, Milan at least. PornHub is looking to throw a holiday-themed pop-up shop that will be opening in Milan, Italy, adjacent to Corso Como.
Somewhere, in a Pennsylvania school district, first graders are giving their teachers the hands.
This is serious. Teachers are getting fucked up by first graders and now they’re resigning. So far, 45 plus teachers have resigned due to the violent behavior of their six-year-old students.
Amanda Sheaffer, a first-grade teacher who attended a Harrisburg school board meeting on Monday, said,
“I have been kicked, punched, hit, scratched. I’ve had a student physically restraining me in front of my other students,” according to PennLive.com.
Damn Sheaffer, you got knocked the fuck out… by a six-year-old?
These must be mutant toddlers. According to Harrisburg Education Association President, Jody Barksdale, these first graders are brolic AF,
“Teachers and students are being hit, kicked, slapped, scratched, cussed at…. and observing other students flip over tables, desks and chairs. Teachers have had to take the rest of their class into the hallway to protect them during these outbursts…”
So how can you stop this crazy behavior? Take away their naps, snacks, and arts and crafts. Nah.
These little elementary monsters are about to have their lives changed on some gangsta shit. The Harrisburg Education Association is thinking about bringing in a task force to fuck up their whole shit.
A TASK FORCE!
Lowkey, this answers a very serious question I’ve always wondered, ‘would I rather go toe-to-toe with one brolic guy or fight a classroom of sixth graders?’
Now I know, the better decision is to go with the brolic dude.
These kids today, man. They really have the hands. Watch out you might run into a first grader that’ll humble you real quick.
Last year Uber paid $100,000 dollars to hackers. Why? So, the hackers could delete and not share 57 million customers and drivers’ personal data that they had collected.
That sure is a lot of identity theft to keep on the DL for a whole entire year. According to an Uber statement, hackers obtained the names and driver’s license numbers of around 600,000 drivers in the United States.
To add, the files downloaded by the hackers included names, email addresses, and mobile phone numbers of 57 million customers.
But, to be honest, how could we be surprised? Uber has been taking consecutive Ls and the company is known for their dishonesty.
Uber was fined in 2016 for withholding information about a 2014 hack. Let’s not forget the illegal tracking of customers’ iPhones and letting convicted felons and others with hot-boy backgrounds drive for the company.
The latter just happened this Monday and Uber got the Uber fine – $8.9 million. It’s like no wonder why the Uber thief had to g it.
This girl epitomizes where Uber stands as a company. Damn. Stealing from behind our backs thinking we are not seeing anything. Oh, we see you.
So what’s next for the dishonest ride-sharing company? According to a press statement released after the hack disclosure, Uber’s CEO, Dara Khosrowshahi, said,
“None of this should have happened, and I will not make excuses for it. While I can’t erase the past, I can commit on behalf of every Uber employee that we will learn from our mistakes. We are changing the way we do business, putting integrity at the core of every decision we make and working hard to earn the trust of our customers.”
I smell BS. Once a liar always a liar. Uber, you can’t lie multiple times and expect us to trust you. This relationship will now and forever have trust issues. *Drake voice.*
Lowkey, in mid-October, scientists saw an alien asteroid make its way into our solar system for the first time.
Scientist Rob Weryk spotted it first and other scientists caught on as it exited our solar system at 98,000 miles an hour. That’s enough speed to outrun our sun’s gravitational pull.
Beyond its alien entrance and rapid exit, the intergalactic asteroid, named Oumuamua‘, Hawaiian for “a messenger from afar arriving first,” is still raising questions.
The asteroid community has never seen an asteroid with such a unique shape. Plus, it “could tell us profound things about where we came from.”
To give you an idea of what scientists saw, Oumuamua resembles something like a giant pencil and is long and blunt on both ends. But to keep it 100, it resembles a giant turd.
Anyway, you are probably wondering how in the world scientists know Oumuamua has this turd like shape. In fact, how do they know that it’s an asteroid?
Scientists suggest that Oumuamua didn’t have a tail like a comet and didn’t spawn a gas trail when it was flying past the sun.
According to a report today in Nature, the visitor lives up to its exotic origin: The object is at least 10 times longer than it is wide, resembling a giant cosmic pencil tumbling through the void.
“It’s extraordinarily elongated, which is extremely unusual—we don’t see anything like that in our solar system,” says study leader Karen Meech of the University of Hawaii’s Institute for Astronomy.
Are you shook? You should be. This could be an attack on us from another galaxy. What if alien life forms figured out a way to launch asteroid missiles at planets. Hot boy, huh?
We don’t even know if life forms were surfing on the asteroid? Like would we be prepared for warfare against an advanced species? Hell no.
This has me stressing about an alien invasion but hopefully scientists can find out more about Oumuamua as time goes on. Someone pass the water, I’m sweatin’.
Bronx comedians and Smacked City co-mayors Desus Nice and The Kid Mero have been killing the late-night TV game. It’s a platform that they deserve. They’ve made daily and political news more digestible for us youngins.
But Desus and Mero’s amusing version of the news is not the only thing the comedic duo has to offer.
They create a vibe on their show that makes the celebrity guests on Desus & Mero open up more than they would in any other interview.
If you don’t watch closely you could miss a gem of advice that could change your life. Especially if you are a youngin coming up and trying to whip it in the same lane as your celebrity hero.
If you did miss out on some advice, we got you. Light the spliffy and peep these memorable Desus & Mero guest interviews below.
Gabrielle Union
It’s always great to see Gabby open up. In this episode, she touched on many aspects of her life – reciprocity in the bedroom, life when you’re a celebrity (but still lowkey a regular person), and the struggle of being a black actress.
Her comfort on the show made me feel more confident in myself. She really made me realize how important it is to be comfortable in your own skin no matter what the haters say.
RAINBOW: “When you use the tools of the master sometimes you end up cutting your self”
Method Man
Method Man is truly a legend and the fact that he pulled up was incredibly dope. Of course, he talks about Wu-Tang Clan coming up, working with BIG, and much more.
Some takeaways from this episode – hustle hard, have fun, and learn your craft one day at a time.
RAINBOW: “At the end of the day the pawn and the king go in the same box”
Hannibal Burress
I actually met Hannibal Burress while I was smoking backstage at a Cool Kids show and his presence gave off a very wise aura. That same aura is felt in this 1000th episode of D&M.
Hannibal’s answer to D&M’s favorite question to ask comedians, ‘How do you handle hecklers?’ was incredible. His reply included a story about some angry old lady who Burress called out regarding her protests to Burress’ comedy.
When the lady had no leg to stand on after claiming Hannibal’s set was misogynistic he came to a realization,
“A lot of times, what happens if you give the person the platform to really speak their mind they ain’t got shit to say and then you roast em and move on…”
Apply that to real life for a second. All the haters that talk shit for no reason shouldn’t affect your life. Fuck ’em, roast ’em and keep it movin’.
RAINBOW: “Peace, love to the Gods. Shoutout dying in Baywatch. Word. Best Chicago all day. You know what it is. Desus and Mero 1,000 episodes forever.”
Erykah Badu
Erykah Badu will probably go down in history as the most trippy human being to ever live.
You already know she popped off on this episode of Desus & Mero with a quick meditation sesh before getting into the interview.
The biggest takeaway from this episode for me is that it’s good to be a peaceful being but not too peaceful where you get taken advantage of.
You know she had to touch on her Tweet which read,
“Look.. I choose peace but , say… Don’t walk up on me wrong.. This Tea and Incense can turn into Colt 45 and Newports if NEED be.. OK?”
RAINBOW: “Suck Hard”
Shane Smith
Co-Founder and CEO of VICE Media Shane Smith not only blessed Desus & Mero with the knowledge he blessed us with the knowledge.
He opens up with an old-time proverb his father once told him, “Life is like a shit sandwich the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.” Proving that “money gives you a lot more options to do a lot more shit.”
Smith goes beyond the anecdote to explain why he copped a $25,000 bowl Picasso made that Mero thought resembled an ashtray. A lot of gems in this interview, make sure to soak it all in.
RAINBOW: “Legalize it, don’t criticize it”
Ty Dolla $ign
You already know Ty Dolla $ign is a hustler and a true musician, always working hard to perfect his craft. He touched on his father being a huge influence on his music career.
He studied his dad’s come up and told D&M how his pops encouraged Ty to teach himself how to play several different kinds of instruments.
Ty’s interview really hit hard. Especially when he explained the reason behind his Beach House collection.
The anecdotes he told made me realize he really spoke his success into the universe by keeping his dream alive.
RAINBOW: “It’s Possible”
Zane Lowe
International DJ and Beats 1 Radio host Zane Lowe has never opened up like this before as he’s usually on the other side of the interview.
Definitely a fun one to watch as Lowe discusses his views on music streaming, interviewing big artists, and his wildest DJ experience.
Lowe is worth learning from he’s been in the game for a hot minute. His music knowledge is unreal.
RAINBOW: “Don’t Be A Has-Been”
Diddy
There is always something to learn from Diddy. He’s a walking role model. In this episode he talks about his motivations, his longevity in the hip-hop industry, and generally being an inspiration.
Peep this answer Diddy gave after D&M asked him about what people should take from his movie Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop,
“What I want them to walk away with is just like the inspiration. That they could see a story about black men and black women; it doesn’t have to be a slave story, no one doesn’t have to be incarcerated, a funeral scene, don’t have to be a shootout scene. We could have a story that ends happily…”
RAINBOW: “Black Excellence”
Whoopi Goldberg
We already know Whoopi Goldberg is the OG of NY. She comes through with the street wisdom in this episode of D&M.
Whoopi blessed us with the knowledge that you’re never too old to be young.
RAINBOW: “There but for the grace of God go we all”
French Montana
“King of East Tremont,” French Montana, had to pull up and drop jewels of wisdom on you ball bags.
As a fellow Bronxite he had to put it on for D&M. He talks about giving back to underprivileged communities and the power of “art and music” as a universal language.
Montana also touches on flipping, coming to the realization that it’s not the wave, and never going back.
The most hotboy Thanksgiving turkey recipe just dropped and it looks disgusting.
According to the white people at Reynolds, flavor blasting your Thanksgiving bird with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos could be wavy.
Yeah, ok, FOH! You already know a white hand in the photo seasoning that.
Reynolds Kitchens
There are so many things wrong with this recipe idea. First of all, how tight would you be if you pulled up to a Thanksgiving dinner and someone’s mommy pulled this out of the oven? Stupid heated.
All the recipe calls for is crushed up “hot puffed cheese sticks.” That’s it?
Reynolds Kitchens
Like, could you not take the time to cop real seasonings? Your auntie dead went to the gas station and bought a bag of hot Cheetos instead of picking up rosemary at the supermarket.
This is lowkey a struggle meal. How are you going to spend $1.69 for seasonings on a bird that cost $23.04? Yeah, you see how absurd this is.
If you don’t think this is crazy you might have to check yourself into rehab because you have a severe addiction to Cheeto dust.
I know there are a couple people out there that think this is lit. You savages!
Just for you chip addicts out there, I’m going to bless you with another sus recipe Reynolds dropped.
The ranch corn chip turkey. Yuck, that sounds so gross.
Yeah, you are legit buggin’ if you are fucking with any of these recipes.
Know this right now, if I pull up and I see you take either one of these chip turkeys out the oven consider our friendship over and I’m going to tell everyone what you did to me.
Deadass, to the next galaxy with these recipes.
Think about the turkeys, man. Imagine if a turkey cooked and covered you with Hot Cheetos, you would be tight.
