backwoods by Jenziino September 26, 2017
I’m gonna start this off with a quick confession: I’m an avid weed smoker who doesn’t know how to roll. Half of it is because I’m too lazy to learn, and the other half is because I don’t like tobacco so I avoid blunts (with the exception of a cyph with the homies).
Also, I lied. Every so often, I’ll smoke hookah (a disgusting load of tobacco … just say no kids). Anyway, this isn’t about me. Pay attention.
One of Twitter’s latest gems is this video floating around of homegirl showing us how to roll a blunt with rose petals.
HOW TO ROLL A ROSE BLUNT pic.twitter.com/2Cr26rzllF
— Sasha💋 (@simple_sasha) September 14, 2017
Our girl Sasha shows us the process step by step. Problem is, ya girl uses a broiler for the petals. I don’t know about y’all but most of my Backwoods loving friends don’t have time for all that.
They’re usually rolling up on a random street or a rooftop of a building that they shouldn’t even be on. The goal is to have the blunt ready as soon as possible because shit is already hot-boy. Throwing a big ass oven in the mix just complicates the process.
Rose petal blunts are dope in theory, but are they really for everyone? My guess is no. There’s definitely a time and place to give it a shot, and I do think it’s worth a try.
Rose Blunt 🌹 pic.twitter.com/5cssA8EzMS
— Mila (@callmequeenmila) September 16, 2017
Question is, when is the time and where should you try this? Obviously you need a kitchen, so if you live with your parents and they don’t know that you smoke, don’t try this at home. Unless, of course, you have some weird-ass explanation for cooking rose petals in your mom’s oven.
Here’s a good scenario: You have a girl coming by for the first time to chill at the crib. You have the vibes all set — vanilla scented candles burning, lights dim, music playing while the Netflix home page sits idle on your TV screen.
There’s a small tray on your coffee table. On it sits a lighter, an ashtray, and the beloved rose petal blunt that you prepared right before she arrives. Once she shows up, she’s fairly impressed with the atmosphere. After some time, you light the blunt and pass it to her, nonchalantly.
She hesitates, you tell her it’s just rose petals, eventually, she hits the blunt and boom — she’s in awe. The combination of the charred red petals and the floral taste is lethal. She’s in a trance and she’s loving it. Congrats, you’ve got her hooked.
Or, she’ll see right through the bullshit and laugh at you. She’ll still smoke the blunt though, ’cause why turn down free weed? Once you’re both high, you’ll laugh and low-key think “damn, this rose petal blunt is kinda lit, though.”
It’s a win-win.
But here’s my next question — where are you getting these roses from? You’re not going out of your way to buy overpriced roses just to experiment rolling some blunt that will most likely fall apart.
Ladies, if your man fucks up and buys you flowers as a sorry then that’s the perfect time to try this. Especially if you’re like me and you think flowers are a pointless gift. Smoke your sorrows away and hit up your side dude. Suddenly, those flowers have a purpose.
Or, for happy couples, perhaps this can be a Valentine’s Day tradition? What else are you really doing with those roses anyway? They’ll be dead in less than a week.
No matter the reason, I’m all for giving this a try. It’s harmless and original. And who knows, maybe it could end up being your go-to for blunts.