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A self-honesty guide: 3 steps to evaluate how you’re handling things

Self-care has been quite the buzzword for the past year and a half or so, and, honestly, it’s been one of the most groundbreaking revelations that’s happened to our culture and society in a long time.

For years, people went through life focusing solely on the physical. It’s why gym culture is one of the biggest industries in America as is nutrition, although we’re the most obese nation in the world. How about the time in adolescence when everyone wanted braces and we all remember those inescapable Proactive commercials.

It hasn’t been until now — the grand awakening of society’s collective consciousness — that mental health, anxiety, and self-care became subjects that we truly understood and related to.

Nowadays, everyone from rappers, actors and even media pundits are saying they struggle with self-care, too. This has opened the door for countless people at home to confront it as well.

Chance, The Rapper puts $1 million up for mental health in Chicago, actress Taraji P Hensen founded a non-profit aimed at combating the stigma around mental health in the African-American community and radio personality Charlemagne released a book titled Shook One: Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me. 

In the midst of this sweeping trend, however, many have discounted and dismissed themselves from the conversation simply because they feel unaffected or that there is nothing mentally going on with them.

While this may be true, as we all don’t share the same battles, it’s foolish to reduce self-care to simply physical and mental challenges. Sometimes self-care is looking at our actions and critiquing or own behavior and keeping ourselves in line.

I know nobody has said it yet but: self-improvement is self-care, too.

Sometimes we’re the ones causing ourselves unnecessary issues and standing in our own way. When we commit to staying honest, aware and focus, however, we can determine what’s not making us happy and we, ourselves, can switch it up.

You may be fine in the head and may even be in impeccable shape, but we all need self-improvement. And with these three steps, you’ll always know-how.

Stay Honest

The old adage of not being able to teach an old dog’s new trick is cute and relatable and all, but it does not get the shame and disapproval that it deserves.

We mustn’t be an old dog. Learning should be a never-ending process that we continue to do till the grave, however, it’s a practice we abandon as soon as we get to feeling ourselves.

We’re grown once we leave the house. We’re qualified once we graduate college, or we’re our own boss once we make a little money. These mindsets are not only wrong but they’re dishonest.

The first step to self-improvement is admitting and recognizing that there is something to improve, and if your head is too stuck up you’re own ass, you’ll never see.

Whether it’s because we’ve tasted a glimpse of success, because we see other people worse off than us or, whatever the case may be, too often do I see adults and even young adults plateau. Too often youngins are grossly satisfied with a fraction of the individual they have potential to be.

Being honest with ourselves means taking a gut-wrenching look inside and facing our shortcomings and areas in which we lack head-on. It’s humbling and it’s far from easy but it’s necessary for growth.

When things aren’t going the way we’d like or when we find ourselves unhappy with our current state,  we need to take a step back and have a moment of honesty with ourselves.

Then make the adjustments needed.

Stay Aware

We cannot be honest with ourselves to improve ourselves if we’re unaware of ourselves.

As simple as a concept of self-awareness sounds, it’s something so many of us lack and is the main reasons we struggle with self-improvement and happiness in the first place.

To be self-aware is to be intentional about our actions and to always self-criticize the good and the bad behaviors we display.

The reason a lot of us are unhappy and discontent with where we are in life is because we’re unwilling to give up a part of who we are to be who we want to be. It’s something we’re consciously aware of even if we don’t openly admit it to ourselves.

As a result, we end up ignoring who we are and all the behavior that comes with us — good or bad —  due to the fact that we’ve committed to the idea that we’re already who we want to be, which is a sad lie.

It’s imperative to be cognizant of our progress as humans, personalities and beings. Not for anyone else’s sake, but for the sake of our own livelihood and our ultimate state of being.

When we’re totally and consistently aware of our action we’d see just how much self-improvement we need and how it’s a journey that will never end.

Stay Focused

The main key to self-improvement is remembering that you’re always should be self-improving.

Focusing on our self-improvement doesn’t mean obsessing over ourselves and our problems as much as it’s about always being ready to be honest with ourselves and unafraid to see what ugly needs to be rectified.

A lot of times we ignore self-improvement simply because we’re afraid to change and evolve — we don’t want this chapter of us to die, regardless of all the signs saying that it should.

Focus allows us to make that difficult decision helps us see that there’s always a bigger picture that to be striving for.

Yeah, you may think you have anxiety or depression and that your self-care regimen is up to par, but if you’re not constantly working on and improving your self, it’s all for naught.