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A comprehensive analysis of the Rockets and Clippers almost scrapping

After last night’s Clippers win over the Rockets, some bad blood between the two teams spilled into some wild post-game almost-fighting.

With a summer blockbuster bringing Paul to Houston and sending Patrick Beverley, Montrezl Harrell, and Sam Dekker to Los Angeles, there were a lot of ex relationships that no longer seem to be very friendly.

It all started during the game with a couple minutes left. As the Clippers (who mostly suck) surprisingly leading the Rockets (who are very good), Blake Griffin seemed to bump Houston coach Mike D’Antoni.

Griffin then got a questionable and-one call on Paul while the Clippers were already all riled up about a non-call on a questionable block on the previous play.

Sports Illustrated‘s Lee Jenkins broke down the fracas:

“The Houston bench erupted [over no-call], and as the Clippers ran back down-court, Griffin bumped head coach Mike D’Antoni. On that same possession, Griffin drove against Paul and made a layup, drawing a foul in the process. The Rockets, already irate over the no–call goaltend and the bump, argued that the foul should have been on the floor. Paul appeared more upset with referee Michael Smith than he was with Griffin, but the two players also jawed back and forth.”

This was merely the beginning.

After the weird Griffin/D’Antoni altercation, Griffin and former teammate and Lob City proprietor Chris Paul jawed at each other, then Griffin drew the ire of Trevor Ariza.

Jenkins writes:

“Ariza was engaging in simultaneous shouting matches near the home bench, one with Griffin and another with Rivers. Ariza was ejected, as was Griffin, who had already received a technical foul for trading expletives with D’Antoni after the bump. ‘He hit me,’ D’Antoni said. ‘I didn’t appreciate it.’ Griffin and Ariza left down opposite tunnels, to their respective locker rooms, Griffin tossing his jersey into the stands.”

Ok, then shit got really weird.

Adrian Wojnarowski, the most plugged-in dude in NBA media and usually the first to report trades or free agent signings, used his sources to document the Rockets coming for Austin Rivers and Blake Griffin.

Chris Paul reportedly led a search party through a secret passageway to get to the Clippers locker room.

Meanwhile, Clint Capela just strolled up to the front door.

Somewhere in the chaos Austin Rivers called Trevor Ariza a bitch, according to Jenkins.

“A hallway runs between the Clippers locker room and the visitors locker room, where players from opposing teams often see each other and catch up. According to a Rockets source, Ariza was waiting on Griffin, and when the game ended he charged from the hallway into the Clips locker room. When Rivers spotted Ariza near the entrance, according to the source, he said: ‘Let his b—– a– come in.’ Ariza then turned his attention to Rivers.”

Obviously with all of this wild drama NBA Twitter lost its collective mind last night and the tweets… were good.

Some took time to address Chris Paul’s sketchy playoff record

Others wondered if certain players were really ’bout that life

Let’s put this all into context real quick…

Chuck and Shaq lost it

Clint Capela’s new nickname is Trojan Horse until further notice

Chris Paul, President of the Player’s Union, leading secret espionage missions

But what’s the best plotline of the whole ordeal?

Wait… what did Steph do?

Ok Blake.

Sure, Pat.

And the pièce de résistance…