cardi b by Claude J. Easy November 23, 2017
We all know that when Thanksgiving finally arrives we are all a little skeptical as to who will be pulling up to the family table. Your fuckboy cousins, your weird uncle and your moms, together in one room are sometimes too much.
Especially if your shmacked at the table, you begin to reminisce about the reasons why you only see certain family members once a year. Fuck it. Let’s say you decided to dub your family for Thanksgiving this year or maybe your plans fell through.
Like you were supposed to chill with wifey’s family but you started the fake argument, so you didn’t have to go. Don’t stress? Roll up, cop wild amounts of turkey, and imagine yourself at the most popping thanksgiving tables around the world.
Here is a list of Thanksgiving tables you would want to be at this year.
A Thanksgiving with TDE would start off with Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith yelling at all of us to sit down as he plops into his seat at the head of the table. This is all while you return from smoking a backwood with the original black lip bastard, Ab-Soul.
Of course, Schoolboy Q would have to carve the turkey. SZA would have to sing one song and who wouldn’t want to hear old tales from Jay Rock over pumpkin pie?
After grubbing down you would enjoy getting a light sauce with Kung Fu Kenny. Then force him to go bar for bar off the shits. A TDE turkey day would be too lit.
You know the Almanzars are getting it popping this year for Thanksgiving. They have a lot to celebrate: a number one billboard record, a fresh engagement, and an all-around money year. So the vibes are finna be very special and turnt.
Plus, we know Offset and his Migos fam have to pull up with. They don’t have a choice they are actually his fam for real.
How can you not see a lot of blunts, a lot of Hennessy, and a lot of great food in rotation at this Thanksgiving? That’s anyone’s type of party.
Who doesn’t want to sit down at any table, at any time of year, with these guys? This is a fine group men *Trump’s voice.* Plus they know how to keep it real cozy. A matter of fact too cozy.
This would be a trippy Thanksgiving to remember, one for the books. An all gold turkey with Dior stuffing, ju hurd. Everyone would be on their Flacko shit. The Mob is too fly for turkeys anyway, ya digg.
I can hear it now, as Ferg rips a turkey leg while belting out a huge “UHHHHH!”
There is definitely always a legendary Thanksgiving at the Smith household. Jaden and Willow are already icons, Will and Jada are the bomb couple, and the Fresh Prince fam probably shows up too.
Ayo, Alfonso pass the stuffing!
I bet you would dub your entire family right now just to be considered a Wayan. You’d probably give up a leg to be a half-cousin twice removed or something like that, huh?
Well no one’s judging, especially if you are alone this Thanksgiving. The Wayan legacy is unreal and to be apart of it would be an honor.
Just put yourself at the table of the OGS in comedy. You’d be laughing the whole night and wondering when you could catch a second wind. Laughing until it hurts would never hurt so good.
Yeah, a Thanksgiving at the Wayans household is definitely a healthy and hearty one.